Unknown Culprit and their Cotton Balls of Yuck

Remember this: Pay attention to everything. Don't touch that tainted cotton ball. It could be covered with something you don't want.

I ran amuck on a Wildlife Managed area for a couple of hours. I was bored. I asked the dog did she want to go for a ride. We clamored up in the vehicle and mozied on down to the river. After seeing many a thing, I drove home while the dog slept. Figures...

I decided to cut the grass in the woods. I care for this small acreage, which has turned into a rather nice habitat. It has a water source and lots of plants. There is millet and other plants there for the wild birds, quail, and deer. I clean the paths and make soft edges. I provide bird houses in the form of gourds, sugar boards, and whatever else I can put out. Sometimes, I see this one turkey that skulks around on his stomach like Count Turkula. That is the only turkey I have ever seen that will stalk the person instead of you stalking him.

I will say, I was ecstatic that I observed some bobwhite quail tooling around down there. Big win because you don't see them often.

On my way down to the woods, I was looking at the high grass on the edge of the horse pasture (see above photo), which is now filled with drying corn stalks. I looked over and saw some cotton balls pinned to the grass. I thought, “What is this now? It is not even September. Someone is already doing naughty stuff.” Looked like a case of trespassing and questionable behavior.

I called my dad. He didn't know anything about it. I broke one off without touching the pen. It looked like someone put something yellow on it, even though it was out in rain. There was no smell either. I have no idea how long it has been there. From the stain, maybe a week. It kind of grossed me out that it might be human body fluids, but I hoped it was something else.

I guess someone is either baiting deer to come to that corner of the fence now, or it is something to run them off. Everything is dry as a bone. There is no gardens in the area. There is soybeans, but the deer can walk out from anywhere to eat them. I can't imagine why Unknown Culprit would be putting cotton balls in my dad's field. The neighbor was watching me. I proceeded to cut the grass.

Last deer season, I did not hunt. I watched everyone else to see what was going on. I know what the culprits are doing. I am going to have to walk around looking for cotton balls or tampons around this property that has been laced with God knows what.

Now that I have clothes pins, I should have them fingerprinted.

People are just spiteful and bored these days. Go cook some bacon, Man, if you want to make bad-good choices. Watch Days of Our Lives if you want drama. 

Here I am working on a habitat for things to live in and some evil person is trying to undermine my endeavor. I shake my head at this. When I consider the world at large these days, I am not surprised. 

It is July and August will be next month. Now would be a good time to do deer stand maintenance. You might would also start looking around to see if someone is doing things on your property they shouldn't. If someone is baiting deer in July, they have a serious problem. Where is the game warden when you need one.

I guess it is time someone goes to jail....can't say I didn't warn them.

Written by: Angelia Y Larrimore, Grossed Out by Yucky Cotton Balls.

Public Service: Don't be a Firebug.

Remember this: All it takes is one spark in the right place.

My parents worked with the SC Forestry Commission until they retired from public service life. My mother was a tower operator. My father was a warden. These towers are not in service and in disrepair. I think they are public landmarks that deserve as much upkeep and can be utilized via monetary admission as a learning experience for high school and college students. You never know when you might need to use them again.

In that time as a child, I was able to run amuck with the workers of Smokey the Bear. My father and others went out to California and fought the wildfires. In the local area, fires were just as bad.

The cause of some of these fires were lightning, campfire, smoking, debris burning, incendiary, equipment use, railroad, children, fireworks, powerlines, and structure fires.

When I came back from my debacle of a fishing trip, I was puttering around the boat putting gas back in the line to the motor. My intention was to test the motor to see if it worked. To my success it did. The grass underfoot was brittle and dry. My garden has already died from lack of water. I was walking back toward the porch when I noticed a glowing light in the sky. Someone in the park next door had launched a Chinese sky lantern. I stopped in my tracks. We were in a drought state due to lack of rain.

A Chinese sky lantern has a small candle or fuel cell composed of combustible material that is lit. It stays lit despite the air conditions. I considered it a fire-flying accident waiting to happen.

I watched the wind carry the sky lantern over in the area above bone dry woods and farmland. It was already at a mile away. I imagined it landing on someone's roof, in a dry field, or in the woods. The problem here is: if it were to fall in the right place, unbeknownst to anyone, the fire could grow until someone saw smoke or the fire spread.

I went inside and told my mother. She called the South Carolina Forestry Commission and reported the event to a previous co-worker. The wardens were already out fighting a fire that had been set by someone.

I am not sure who decided to set a sky lantern out, but it was a potentially atrocious mistake. Choices like this could cause a lot of damage to wildlife, life, limb and property.

I remember the times wardens would get down in the woods, in the dark, fighting fire, and almost get surrounded by it. We have people who are employed to do a public service, yet there are irresponsible people doing acts that can bring on putting someone's life in danger and wanton destruction through stupidity.

In the green world right now, it's a good time to use common-sense and good decision-making skills. Use your eyes to see what conditions are. Some of the things you are thinking of doing could cause a lot of problems for someone else to clean up. If you get caught, you will face fines and jail time.

If you are not aware of potential hazardous conditions, please feel free to call your local Forestry Commission. There exists some kind of burning permit number or representative that can steer you in the right direction. They are there for you and would appreciate not having to put their life in danger, if it can be avoided.

If you are not sure what this looks like, visit this: http://www.state.sc.us/forest/ site.

Research the state you live in for the State Agency. These websites would have a Daily Fire Weather Report to help you make good decisions.

I hope this is a gentle reminder of your responsibility as a steward of the land, rivers, streams, wildlife, and forest we all love to visit and enjoy. I am sure I am not alone in thinking I would like to see it green and not charred to black ruins.

Written by: Angelia Y Larrimore

Government Cheese and Hunting Fees

Remember this: Starve and die...or look for options.

Many people do not take part in recreation activities such as hunting, fishing, and camping due to lack of funds. Meaningful experiences fall to the wayside due to lack of connections, mentoring, time, and desire.

I try not to belittle or look down on another person's life without some reflection on that person. I do give people the benefit of the doubt. I would expect the same in turn. I don't know their life or what they have been through. When I see someone raging against the machine, I try not to get mixed up in the foray of emotions that causes one to lose the ability to see through bullshit. Neither do I desire to look down on such individuals, who feels strongly about their convictions. Their experiences are vastly different. Yet considered no less or more important than my own.

I try to scratch out people that think they see a weak spot and try to pick at the scab. For those I say, “Keep picking. You are going to get something you will never see coming.” Spiteful people exist due to boredom and enjoying the thought of hurting someone else. Those weeds eventually go the way of all things when come uppance arrives at their door.

I began thinking about regular people, when faced with some life disaster, needing to provide for their loved ones with whatever option is available at the time. The sad reality is there are people that will not help people in need. They see them as capable. This is true. The crux of this problem is: you can have a capable person that can do but that person is not given any opportunities for whatever reason. Generating opportunities sometimes fail because of lack of funding or interest from the general public. There are a lot of variables here. You could see the person doing a lot but not gaining any ground. Truth be told, everyone is fighting. Everyone has it hard. Why are we making life even harder?

There again, enter Life's Purposes, where one individual is suffering and going through a lot. They pass on the knowledge and the details of the situation to help others through and steer them clear from danger. Consider it a cosmic message transfer of sorts. The sender need only recognize the message through awareness and pass it on to the cosmic pools of the world until it drifts to the ones needing it.

I had a brief conversation with someone. Issues arose but I didn't feel predisposed to vomiting up my life disasters and pollute up someone with my problems. I consider it not vandalizing someone else's wall with my paint when they just painted their wall blank. It is a choice of mine not to dump my trash in the lake of another unless they intentionally are willing to help me clean up my mess. Most people are not that charitable.

It is always up to you and your choices; good or bad.

There are internet users on social media who feel strongly against public assistance aka Welfare. Everyone's opinions and feelings are warranted. To improve a system both negative and positive feedback is needed to correct overall service success.

After looking at online posts about Food Stamps and EBT cards, I removed myself from the resentment I viewed. Without the other person's knowledge of my use of it, I didn't want to be sensitive to the conversation someone else was posting. It's water down my back, even though some people wield it like a leather strap. Some people are like that. They don't realize how they could be hurting someone else. The person has an issue themselves. I tried to see where hunting fit into this picture. After all, it is a source of food.

To my knowledge in my great state of South Carolina, food stamps and hunting/fishing licenses do not overlap with one another. These two services are completely distinct and separate. I lean more toward the two not, because of muddying up the waters of services.

Let us look at the EBT/SNAP service.

There are probably people utilizing monetary contributions from family and friends to buy hunting and fishing licenses. This kinda thing has to be turned in to social service. They want to know ever dime that passes through your hand from whatever source it comes from. Hunting and fishing's purpose in this is to supplement the lack of food not covered by how much is allocated to your EBT card. It exists merely as a crutch to get you over a hump in your life, given that hump doesn't span years. Sadly, it does.

I speak from experience.

In my instance, I was no longer employed at a decent paying job after I broke my wrist from an on-the-job dog attack. I applied for public assistance but was turned down. I still posessed current pay stubs but had already paid my bills. My funds were at zero. I had a child to feed. I went to my dad's, besides myself. He was sitting on the swing outside. I told him what kind of pickle I was in. I just had the sutures removed from my hand and faced a lot of physical therapy. He pointed to the truck and said, “Get the gun out and shoot a deer.” He gave me the money to go buy a hunting license. You soon find you don't need to kill more than three to keep you in the protein. My nerves were so bad at that time due to other things. Deer meat was the only thing I could eat and hold down, meat wise. I grew some hybrid collards and mustard then called it a meal.

Here I interject, in life you go on the idea that everything will work itself out. You don't foresee a lot of disruptive life issues and tragedies that come your way. Neither should you be beat up for it by others who judge and look down on you in a dehumanizing way. This can come from the very workers you go to while apply for a service and from people in better life positions. The worry for them is absent. They forget every minute is one step to being in the position of the person they frown down upon.

One of my friends rented houses. She came by one day and told me she had two men renting her houses. One had a job but wouldn't pay his rent, yet could buy a stereo system. The other had a child, paid his rent but didn't have anything left over for food. She told me how bad she felt about it but had to take the rent anyway. Her bills didn't stop either. I didn't say anything to her. I got a box, walked over to my deep freeze and started putting food in it. I told her, “Give that to the one that pays his rent and has a kid.” This guy was just above the margin given by Social Services that didn't approve him. We call it scraping the barrel here.

I thought about the amount that is given on an EBT card. Let us set up a scenario. Here is a working example. The amount given to a woman and child with absolutely no income could be $357.00. Divide this by 30 days and allocate $11.90 per day per two people. Divide this by 2 people and you have a final amount of $5.95 day/person. Now subtract the amount of a 12 oz can of Chicken of the Sea, at full price, from this amount and see what you have left over. The protein on the can says 11g. Look up what your protein requirements are for the day. Figure it out...

Now keep in mind when you use the $5.95 for yourself, you look at the can to see what the label says the protein amount is. Otherwise, you could be wasting $5.95 on sugar and crap food. We wonder why food that is good for us is so costly and you can't pay for it.

When you consider a person pays into a system over the course of their life, while having a life disruption at some point, should not be begrudged using a service provide they helped subsidize it. Nor is it right to look down on them and set the scene to insinuate they are a loser all of a sudden. It reminds me of being in a tribe. You break your leg on a hunt. You can no longer hunt so the other members of the tribe drag you to the edge of the village and dump you there. You are no longer of use to them or yourself. The reality is you are just sidelined until you heal. This doesn't mean you have no value. It is a case of wrong tribe with bad mentality.

I remember reading an account where a certain North American tribe would have a meeting then go into the tent of an elderly person and choke them to death. One account was by a elder that overheard what was about to happen to him. He dragged himself out his lodging and into the woods. He subsisted on berries and bark for a while until he could walk a little. He meandered to a local tribe of different affiliation who cared for him until he was well. All it took was care and compassion. This man did not have to die at the hands of others who considered him useless and a burden.

I recently looked at the application for EBT. On it were questions such as: Have you used EBT to purchase guns and ammunition, have you sold EBT for recreational drugs, etc. I just stared at it an thought, “Do you really expect people to answer this? They would be admitting to a crime?” Again, maybe the person is mentally challenged and answers these questions. Stranger things can happen.

There is the issue of requiring people to give a urine test as a part of the process to be approved for EBT. The problem with this is you have to prove the person did sell EBT funds for drugs. They could have traded sex for drugs. You never know. Of course, this could be a good and bad thing. The requirement might be to get into a drug rehabilitation group. This could incur even more cost at someone's expense. Who would pay for that? Unfortunately, it becomes a sickness that branches out even further. No one knows how deep it can go but it keeps going. It is a symptom of social-psychological disease. The wrong thought can lead you into all kind of mischief.

There are people abusing the service, either intentionally or for lack of education on what they should be choosing. I have seen people loading up grocery carts with every kind of processed food instead of the nutritionally necessary items. The baby sits in the slot at the handles with all this junk a la carte behind them. Eventually the bad choices lead to childhood and parental obesity. On it goes, the degrading human condition. One bad decision right after another. Why is this I ask? Maybe no one taught them better, laziness, it is just convenient to not use brain cells, and lack of education? Who knows what is going on in peoples heads at the time?

Where does hunting and fishing enter into the picture?

Thinking on hunting and fishing, it is costly. A South Carolina salt and freshwater fishing license is $20. This might be the best route. You can fish off the hill. If you hang around a boat landing long enough, you could make a friend that would take you out for thirty minutes on the water. This promotes social interaction. People tend to talk more when relaxed and no menace.

A basic hunting license is around $10. If you get the hunting/fishing combination license you save $5.00. To get the migratory bird with stamp and ability to hunt Wildlife Managed areas the fee could be up to $65-$70. This is due to contributing to conservation efforts in our state, which is a must. No wild game, there goes your alternative food source option.

Jobless, destitute people can't afford this. You can't pay, you don't play. The option of using hunting and fishing as a food source goes out the window unless you find charity in someone who is compassionate enough to give you a hand out. The only light in the dark here is cane pole fishing without an eye. You can still attempt to pull a fish from the river.

How does this figure for dirt poor people who could hunt for their food but not afford the fees? If a person loses the ability to realize they can do for themselves because of an obstacle placed before them with a penalization system, how can they proceed? What happens when this individual is placed in a position to make a poor decision merely because the choice of starve or break a law and go to jail is now in the option choices? What if this person has no one else to help them supplement food sources? Is there a service in conjunction with the Department or Natural Resources and the EBT/SNAP program to work together to get those individuals out in the field to give them a sense of empowerment as capable individuals who can provide for themselves and others. This could lead to improvement of self-image and give impoverished peoples the determination or encouragement to move past their perceived ideals of self-poverty to a more self-sufficient human being. Then teach them to pass this mentality on to others who seeming fall behind or down in the mud.

Should these two entities not mix? Is there the possibility of a service being generated separate from the two, yet have the ability to co-mingle as a prototype as an answer to part of the problem?

You can see how questions really start generating themselves. When you have more questions than answers to a growing issue there exist a potential problem. This doesn't mean there are no solutions. It is the tact one goes about apply solutions for favorable outcomes.

Charity in recreational sports, governmental programs, and our daily lives is necessary. Individuals exist in the world that are dependent due to disability, somewhat helpless children, the mentally-ill, self-decided leeches on society, and capable adults that get assaulted by the responsibility of just being alive then falling pray to happenstance. You also have big talkers that think nothing will ever happen to them. 

Yet the cosmic finger points at you on this given day and says, “Kneel. Remember the dirt you come from for you shall return to it; kicking, screaming, or relieved this life is over.” Again you might be one of the lucky ones that never see a tear shed in their life and die with a smile on your face. The problem with this is: When asked, what did you do for others in your time on Earth? What could you possibility have to say for yourself?

These are just some of the things I was pondering on. I could go into a long treatise of novella proportion. I only want to make you think. There are people that just upon reading this piece would get mad as a wet-setting hen at the mere thought. To those people I only ask: Think about it in a new way. Doing for someone else very well might make you have a better outlook on others and yourself.

Maybe we rely to much on government to guide us or empower the public to do for themselves and others. There are billions of people on this planet. Is it so hard to turn to the person beside you and say, “Can I help you in some way? Relieve your suffering and toil?” Do we have to wait on a government handout when there are so many people willing to help those that want to help themselves? Could this ever become a real thing? Is it just for those few that have compassion and awareness to the suffering of other things great and small? Why are there so few of those kinds of people? Or are people not brave enough to recognize that thing within themselves that manifest the good the world bore you out the Earth to exist for the sake of existing?

Being poor and dying is not the way a living creature should part his life. Neither is it noble to make someone's last dying thought be from Langston Hughes's poem “Sympathy” rethought....I didn't even have a crust of bread or a corner to weep in.

Written by: W Harley Bloodworth

Boat Ramp Shenanigans with Space Chimp.

Remember this: Poke a measuring stick in it. That hole might be deep.

Yesterday, my son and I went to a boat landing way in the woods on a WMA area. We weighed ourselves before setting out. Humans do not learn anything valuable unless through intrepidity and caprice.

My God, I could have been on the internet looking at naked men, fighting faceless strangers, and looking at mindless crap. But no...I was out in the world.

The state has been under drought watch. The water was low and the road was driveable two days ago. Going in we saw one turkey, then a second. I told my son, “Wait for the third. That will be a show.” The third time we saw turkey there was a herd of about thirteen standing on the sandy road sides, wings a flapping, then strolled nonchalantly in the woods. This was the point I realized the road scraper had loosened the dirt up too much. The boat and truck was at risk to getting stuck. I put her in a different gear and drove on through. We got down to the boat landing after the scenic drive.

The reason I am writing this is for newbie people or anyone that hasn't gotten the details of going off as unseasoned people. This can include people that lack a mentor or just another person. Think before you act. At the very least try to avoid a metaphoric tar pit of nature.

We got the boat down to the landing. There was one truck and it was parked in such a way as to block anyone pulling out. I walked down to the river's edge. The water was low. There was nothing in the water to indicate the end of the boat ramp or the depth of the bottom a ways out. The boat ramp is actually a big canal shoot with disappearing gravel road. Just looking at the water, you can't tell if you back the trailer and boat out, if the trailer is going to fall into a hole you can't see.

I backed the truck up. After the boat came off my rear driver's side wheel found that one place and slide off of what looked to be a traction panel. I had one job and failed. No need spinning wheels in the mud and getting nowhere. You have to learn when to stop. If you don't stop, you make it worse.

It appears someone stuck a piece of pig panel down in the water. I was stuck. I keep finding myself stuck. Yet, if it weren't for me being stuck I wouldn't get great ideas for this blog posts. Other people with their squinty eyes tell me, “You are stuck.” I think it should be an Olympic sport. I would be devastatingly good at it; an unpaid life's career.

Before I left my father told me if I got bogged down to call him. He knew where I was going. Being my dad's child, I trust him. I fell prey to one of my dad's booby traps meant for would-be thieves.

I swamped the boat as well.

Never let it be said that there is nothing man can build that women can't tear apart. Yet on the positive side, we build just as much. It's the weird balance scale of the universe. You never know when it will strike with its shits and giggles. My father and the Universe were having a laugh-fest on me.

My son and I pulled the boat up on the bank. We figured out what he had done. While waiting I noticed a white and black bird flying over the area. It was a swallow-tailed kite. I could hear babies squawking somewhere close by but couldn't visualize the nest. If you see these birds please report a siting. It is an endangered species and of the highest conservation concern. The swallow-tailed kite winters in Brazil. You can call or go to The Avian Conservation Center and The Center for Birds of Prey (1-843-971-7474) websites to report sightings.

On to the debacle.

My father shows up unable to talk. He is humored by my state of affairs. My son was not amused. I thought I was going to die.

We pulled the truck and trailer out. It wasn't that bad. It was just off the track in a soft spot. It could happen to anyone at this ramp.

We pulled the boat up. Fixed it and used the bilge pump to get the excess water out. This was the second time I took this boat out. My dad had just purchased it and kept nudging me to take it out. I thought this odd behavior. I should have known. Send the test chimp to see if she can make it to outer space or watch her spaceship blow up and fall from the sky.

The first time I took this boat out I turned around because the gas line would not stay in the motor. I didn't think it prudent to spew gas into the river, strand myself or anyone with me. I am here not to put the fear of going outdoors in a person. I would rather have them enjoy life. Sometimes invisible and human gremlins decide they do what they want at your expense. Their evil plans know no bounds.

I looked at my dad and said, “Daddy, I don't think this is meant to be.” He didn't look at me and said, “Yes it is.” He might have realized to some degree this was a discouraging situation. He was never one for worry over my feelings. I traded the hitches off the two vehicles. He drove in a truck with 4WD and left it with me. My dad goes back and test drives this boat down the river, leaving it running. I was dubious. My son and I got in the boat then drove off. My dad left. I drove off with the boat. I liked it actually. It maneuvered easily. I could sit up in a seat. I can tell you when you drive your first car you are worried about wrecking into someone. When you drive your first boat on open water with no problems, it just feels awesome.

I looked down at the water. It had debris in it and looked nasty.

We went a ways but then I felt the boat motor kick. My son wanted to know if we hit something. I told him it was either air or water in the line. After the second or third bump, I just got this feeling to turn around because we were heading for this lake. I thought to myself, “There is no way I am stranding my baby and me on this river this day.” I made a U-turn right in the middle of the river and went straight back to the dock. There is no need in letting stupidity overrun common-sense. I got back to the boat ramp. The motor dies. Not to be deterred, I plopped the trolling motor in the water and thought Land Ho. Always have paddles or a back-up.

The problem with driving someone else's used purchase is there is a reason someone sold it. I figured out all the quirks in that boat but I am sure there will be more to come. It is better to do a test run with equipment without unknowing individuals aboard, instead of getting people out on a river then scaring them half to death. I can imagine if this were someone who had never been acclimated to river life. Probably would have shit their pants. If you are not somewhat concerned for yours or others safety and plight....you have a serious problem.

The boat would not crank. I didn't call my dad back either. I backed the Cherokee with the trailer down the slew to the river to float the boat up to hook it then cranked the boat up enough to pull it out the water without busting the motor. The boat motor wouldn't tilt. I wanted to (RAWR!) and gnaw on something, I tell you. I laugh now.

I drove up to a hill and used gravity to slide the boat up to the top where the crank handle was. Once we anchored it down, my son drove us out. He looks at me and says, “Mom, we go camping in a couple of weeks. It will be better. This was one hiccup.”

We got back to the house and weighed ourselves. Everything I do with my son is to teach him something. I told him if you wanted to lose some pounds go down to that particular river and just sit or walk around. He lost 4 pounds in less than 2 hours. I lost 6 pounds. We were constantly drinking water.

I have a reason for writing this. Prior to this, I had talked to several old timers or seasoned boat landing people. There was a pivotal theme traveling through these conversation. That theme was the avoidance of utilizing boat ramps in the area I am from and local areas. I traveled around to look at the landings. Some are great, some hellish.

I learned from working with the public that consumers will avoid bad service and places that provide dreadful experiences.

This is the growing case with some boat landings, their ramps, and engineering. The complaint on ramps were: the steepness of the ramp itself, low-maintenance or upkeep to the ramps, especially out of the way boat ramps. There was a complaint of visualization of where the ramp ended or erosion maintenance at the water's edge to keep boaters from bogging or sliding in. Also the lack of traction in a wide enough area at the mouth of the boat ramp. Some landings have a floating dock where others have nothing but a dirt hill. This doesn't provide a place to tie the boat. I got this from people on the river all the time. These outdoors people are being blocked by the thought of the boat landings being unsafe in some way as to warrant avoidance. There is the issue of once questioned by officials, the landing users will declare no problem. No one wants to be seen as ungrateful or a complainer. Wait until some gets hurt then everyone is bad mouthing the area.                                                                      

You begin to understand why some people die right at the ramp. They are in the water or struggling with the boat somehow. If you lost fluids at the rate my son and I did, compounded with some physical problem you are not aware of, I could see how someone could die. One landing near me is notorious for people dying. It is a steep drop off into the water you can't see. Back a boat up, walk in the water around the motor after you pull it out some and in the drink you go, sucked down. You don't know where the edge is. The person assumes it is naturally there. It could easily happen when you think beyond yourself.

One ramp I went to looks like a ledge when you stand at the top even though from the side it is a gradual incline. Most people do not own a Dualie trucks or a 4 X 4 to pull a trailer. They have little small or mid-size vehicles with questionable brakes and motors two steps from fried. They go fishing to enjoy themselves and get food. I could see where fishermen would be afraid of watching their truck roll back into the river. Some smart person would say, “Don't go down there then.” Yet the landing is there for everyone. There was a section on the other side of the river that was lower.  A decent ramp could have been built there. It would be great if the water were high, but most people do not go when the water is high.

The ramp itself is an obstacle to the river and enjoyment when no appropriate. I wonder if landings are reassessed?

When going to a landing, tell someone where you are going. You might need to send out an S.O.S. If you have no one, become acquainted with the DNR and who to call, if in trouble. Get out your truck and walk down to look at the ramp. Look for hazards. If you find some report them. If it looks shady, don't go in. Go on the premise: out of sight, out of mind. Take electrolytes and water. You don't want to get dehydrated. When in doubt, turn around. Have a back-up. Check your boat with a mental checklist. Someone might have done something to it. On the trip in, something might have become ajar or loose. Talk to people and find out what the potential problems are you might be facing or unaware of. It is worth the oxygen to ask.

I could go on.

Read other people's experience and learn from it. It could happen to you. Just because things go wrong doesn't mean you have to give up your plans to enjoy yourself or experience something new. There are always obstacles that get in the way. It is your job as a human being to use your brain and heart to dodge or make the best of things to get over a hump. There might be a reason for this. You might be laboring under some plight for the sake of someone you don't know who will benefit. Take classes provided by the local DNR or other organizations. Every little bit of experience helps. You might even save a life. You never know.

Go forth River Noob and be awesome.

Written by: Angelia Y Larrimore, the Undaunted.

Stories, Not Lies.

Remember this: Every story is a tale to tell. Little things add up to a lot of big indicators.

I was standing by the road. A rattle trap S-10 truck pulls up with a boat dragging behind. It was 6 am.

Before I proceed with this story, let me inform you reader, I had a conversation with a guy about how long I had been without dating a man. He tells me, “Yeah, you really need to date.” I listened to him. I don’t know why. I asked myself, “How fast can I find a date?” I was looking for one of those easy, I can run from this, harmless but foot gnaw-able exit strategies to being with a stranger in close confines. It wasn’t really a date but a prototype, in my mind.

I am blaming all of this blog on that guy.  You know who you are. Evil grin.

Onward with said tale.

I met the fisherman a week ago at another boat landing. My Aunt and I were fishing in the evening to kill some time. I asked the fisherman did he want to go fishing. He said, “Yes”. The fisherman decided where he wanted to go and made plans to pick me up from my house.

He picked me up and we were on our way. One stop for ice and forty-five minutes later, we were putting in at this clean landing with a dock on a muddy river. On the way to our destination, I told the fisherman I had never fished in that particular river. He took it that I had never fished even though when he first met me, I was in a crow boat fishing in a river. We get in the boat and use the trolling motor to ease down the river not far from the landing. I tied the boat to a limb. We proceeded to get ready to fish.

The fisherman gave me a bream buster. He wouldn’t allow me to bait my own hook or remove the fish off the hook. He said the bait would dirty my hands. I didn’t say anything.

I put my line in the water and proceeded to do the age-old technique of jig fishing. He tells me not to move the pole like I was doing. He then proceeds to copy what I just did. I didn’t say anything but went right back to what I was doing. By this time he had turned and faced forwards.

We moved down to another spot and I was jig fishing. I saw the ghostly, transparent shape of a fish swim to the bank then turn coming back in to my line. The fisherman saw it to. He said he’s coming in then puts his pole there. I jigged and stopped. Right when he decided it was time for us to move. The catfish hit my line and I broke his pole. I heard the snap and said, “Fuck”. I realized the end was going out the boat, reached over, grabbed it and hauled that cat in. Once I got the catfish in the boat I put my hands over my mouth and said, “Oh God! I broke your pole. I am so sorry.”  Someone had just given him this pole for sentimental reasons and it had dry rot. The fisherman acts perturbed but gets the catfish off. He gives me a better one.

As I put the line in, the fisherman hunches over and says between swigs on his cigarette, “I think you lied to me about knowing how to fish.” Suspicions is all over his face and a twitchy twang in his voice. Accent on lieeeeed to me and squinty eyes were in accompaniment. 

I said nothing. Jig, jig, jig.

The boat was tied to a limb and I looked over the side. A pencil thin snake, burgundy in color with thick bands, is swimming by the side of the boat, almost out of sight. I point and say, “Look at that snake.” I thought the little fisherman was going to shoot out the boat like a rocket. He brought along a one shot shotgun. I realized I was in the boat with Shakey McGee.  His hand kept reflexively going for the shotgun but not quite grabbing it. Shakey McGee wanted to know where the snake was. It got up near the front of the boat and wrapped around a limb right by him. He was ready to move. After that this was the procedure: tie boat, look for snake, jig, jig, jig, look for snake,jig,jig,jig. He tells me about a cottonmouth’s ability to crawl in your boat and show you what ‘getting real’ means.

Quietly, I thought to myself….he really doesn’t like snakes; jig, jig, jig. Why am I doing this; jig, jig, jig. I am going to kill that guy I talked to; jig, jig, jig. I am never going to find anyone; jig, jig, jig

“Oh Fish!”, and pulled out a big catfish. If people could read your mind at the time, they would be howling with laughter.

Shakey McGee started chain smoking like a Stackhouse. I was dodging smoke clouds. I reiterate the fact I do not like dating men who smoke.

We go off down the river catching fish until 12:00 pm. He asked if I was ready to go after he told me the time. I said it would be a waste to sit on the river in the hottest part of the day, catching nothing. He concurred. We pulled everything in and he asks me, “Are you sure you don’t have a hot date?” I said, “No, I just have common sense. It is going to get hot soon.” He pulls up the trolling motor and breaks out the outboard. We shoot down the river and he slows down to express his concern that I might be getting wet. I told him it was fine to carry on. I love riding in a boat, water in my face or no. I felt like he viewed me as a porcelain doll, fragile and easily breakable.

We got back to the landing. He wouldn’t let me help him get the boat in. He had concerns I didn’t know how to get out the boat yet I got in. While he is putting the boat up on the trailer two other fishermen come up. They speak to each other and ignore me. This is that moment where people will treat you like you know nothing but don’t worry. Use it to your advantage because they will say whatever in front of you thinking you are the village idiot. What these fishermen don’t know is: you live right in the middle of the river system with access to more than one boat and can drive them by your lonesome.

I asked one of them if I could see what they caught. Fisherman #1 asked me, “How many fish did you catch?” I said a few. I walked down the dock to view the one catfish they did have with the help of Fisherman#2. Fisherman #2 started telling me a story about one of my kin scaring him and one of his buddies at the river over a cat hook set. Fisherman #2 and his buddy had stolen my kin’s fish and lied to him. After that, decided it wasn’t a good thing to do it again. My kin had a knife, whittling away at something. Fisherman #2 said my kin looked scary.  When I got back Fisherman #1 said, “I thought you said you caught a few?!” I laughed at him and said, “Its stories, not lies.”

The fisherman and I were standing by his boat. It is getting hot and he has no A/C. I told him that was okay, just to get us in the wind. I ask him for some water. He gives me a bottle and pulls one out for himself. I pick it up because I figured he was going to get in the truck but was still doing stuff. He whips around on me and says, “Are you going to drink both of those?” I stood there for a moment and replied, “No, I was just holding it for you. Did you think I was selfish and going to take it all for myself?” He said nothing. I went and got in the truck and waited. My mind trained on the fact he turned on me over a bottle of water; little hints at accusations and suspicions.

Most people have told me they think I have a husband or boyfriend hidden somewhere. Thus was the case of this fisherman. He constantly asked me where my husband was and if he was going to get beat up. I just felt cinder blocks on my shoulders.

In route home, the fisherman asked me did I want the fish. He is asking me did I want to keep my own fish. I puzzled over this but then replied, “Yes. I would like the fish.” He ended up giving me all of them. I thanked him, took the fish, and he went on his way.

Here is what I gathered from this little expedition.

People will show you in subtle ways the bigger picture of their personality, even if they try to hide it. If someone refuses to let you bait your hook, it could mean the worms are disgusting. On the other hand, this person could try to control everything about you. Add not letting you take your own fish off, could mean that person would drive you to becoming so dependent on them that you can’t do anything for yourself. Thereby this could put you in a bad position because when you get to ‘helpless status’ your self-esteem goes down and you don’t try anymore. Someone else is there to do it for you.

Equal baiting a hook, where both people have the same amount of bait, could show you that person wants you to have as good a chance at catching something as them. The mentality ‘all the bait is for me and I’ll give you scraps’ is someone you might think about avoiding. In relationships, both parties should be doing their part for each other. If one half of the unit is foreshortening your ability to bring home the bacon for the sake of their ego, you might want to think about trading in or having a come to God meeting with the significant other on selfishness. People in relationships can walk down a path together; not in single file.

If someone doesn’t ask you, “What do you know?” and just assumes you are ignorant then treats you accordingly, could mean they have very little faith in your ability upon first glance based upon appearances. This shows a superficial type of person because they only look skin-deep.

If you go with someone and they don’t let you help them, maybe they are self-sufficient. On the other hand, if they are unwilling to let you work with them in the beginning doing simply things then later on you will be shoved to the side because you would only get in the way.  Relationships work when you can work together as a team. If you can’t do simple things together, you might want to think about that….in a deer stand…for a day or two. They don’t have time to show you anything because you are a burden or obstacle. These types in relationships will not want to work with their significant other. There will be lots of fighting because the person doing everything thinks they are being put upon, when really they are shoving the help of their would-be significant other aside.

If you are going out with someone for an easy fishing expedition for the very first time, then do not bring up the relationship talk. How is that person supposed to know what the future holds when they just met you? This is called rushing and may scare them away. Conversation is a must and you have to ask questions or actually exchange dialogue. No first conversation is a home run. You don’t know one another. What were you expecting?

 Don’t assume you know anything about the person before you talk to them. Give them a chance to answer your questions before your suspicion creates a non-existent problem that is not there. How about wait to catch them in an actual lie before pouncing on them about their single or marital status.

Watch for the cracks in their personality. The real person will start bleeding out because you can’t hide what is ugly inside for very long. Take that as a warning sign.

There is also the truth that people should be able to do for themselves such as bait a hook, take a fish off a hook, and motor a boat. There are people out there that would rather you not….or so it seems.

Suspicion, suspicion.

I guess I could go on. These are a few of the things I gathered. All around, he was a pretty nice fellow. I did appreciate the fishing trip and the fish. I am still blaming it on that one guy.
What the hell do I know about it? I haven't been in that kind of relationship in a long time. I avoid restaurant first dates and movie theaters because it will make you uncomfortable and sweaty. I prefer doing something outside where I can move around and be somewhat distracted while engaging in conversations. I am sure I am not alone.

After all, it is all stories, not lies.

Written by: Angelia Y Larrimore