Stories, Not Lies.

Remember this: Every story is a tale to tell. Little things add up to a lot of big indicators.

I was standing by the road. A rattle trap S-10 truck pulls up with a boat dragging behind. It was 6 am.

Before I proceed with this story, let me inform you reader, I had a conversation with a guy about how long I had been without dating a man. He tells me, “Yeah, you really need to date.” I listened to him. I don’t know why. I asked myself, “How fast can I find a date?” I was looking for one of those easy, I can run from this, harmless but foot gnaw-able exit strategies to being with a stranger in close confines. It wasn’t really a date but a prototype, in my mind.

I am blaming all of this blog on that guy.  You know who you are. Evil grin.

Onward with said tale.

I met the fisherman a week ago at another boat landing. My Aunt and I were fishing in the evening to kill some time. I asked the fisherman did he want to go fishing. He said, “Yes”. The fisherman decided where he wanted to go and made plans to pick me up from my house.

He picked me up and we were on our way. One stop for ice and forty-five minutes later, we were putting in at this clean landing with a dock on a muddy river. On the way to our destination, I told the fisherman I had never fished in that particular river. He took it that I had never fished even though when he first met me, I was in a crow boat fishing in a river. We get in the boat and use the trolling motor to ease down the river not far from the landing. I tied the boat to a limb. We proceeded to get ready to fish.

The fisherman gave me a bream buster. He wouldn’t allow me to bait my own hook or remove the fish off the hook. He said the bait would dirty my hands. I didn’t say anything.

I put my line in the water and proceeded to do the age-old technique of jig fishing. He tells me not to move the pole like I was doing. He then proceeds to copy what I just did. I didn’t say anything but went right back to what I was doing. By this time he had turned and faced forwards.

We moved down to another spot and I was jig fishing. I saw the ghostly, transparent shape of a fish swim to the bank then turn coming back in to my line. The fisherman saw it to. He said he’s coming in then puts his pole there. I jigged and stopped. Right when he decided it was time for us to move. The catfish hit my line and I broke his pole. I heard the snap and said, “Fuck”. I realized the end was going out the boat, reached over, grabbed it and hauled that cat in. Once I got the catfish in the boat I put my hands over my mouth and said, “Oh God! I broke your pole. I am so sorry.”  Someone had just given him this pole for sentimental reasons and it had dry rot. The fisherman acts perturbed but gets the catfish off. He gives me a better one.

As I put the line in, the fisherman hunches over and says between swigs on his cigarette, “I think you lied to me about knowing how to fish.” Suspicions is all over his face and a twitchy twang in his voice. Accent on lieeeeed to me and squinty eyes were in accompaniment. 

I said nothing. Jig, jig, jig.

The boat was tied to a limb and I looked over the side. A pencil thin snake, burgundy in color with thick bands, is swimming by the side of the boat, almost out of sight. I point and say, “Look at that snake.” I thought the little fisherman was going to shoot out the boat like a rocket. He brought along a one shot shotgun. I realized I was in the boat with Shakey McGee.  His hand kept reflexively going for the shotgun but not quite grabbing it. Shakey McGee wanted to know where the snake was. It got up near the front of the boat and wrapped around a limb right by him. He was ready to move. After that this was the procedure: tie boat, look for snake, jig, jig, jig, look for snake,jig,jig,jig. He tells me about a cottonmouth’s ability to crawl in your boat and show you what ‘getting real’ means.

Quietly, I thought to myself….he really doesn’t like snakes; jig, jig, jig. Why am I doing this; jig, jig, jig. I am going to kill that guy I talked to; jig, jig, jig. I am never going to find anyone; jig, jig, jig

“Oh Fish!”, and pulled out a big catfish. If people could read your mind at the time, they would be howling with laughter.

Shakey McGee started chain smoking like a Stackhouse. I was dodging smoke clouds. I reiterate the fact I do not like dating men who smoke.

We go off down the river catching fish until 12:00 pm. He asked if I was ready to go after he told me the time. I said it would be a waste to sit on the river in the hottest part of the day, catching nothing. He concurred. We pulled everything in and he asks me, “Are you sure you don’t have a hot date?” I said, “No, I just have common sense. It is going to get hot soon.” He pulls up the trolling motor and breaks out the outboard. We shoot down the river and he slows down to express his concern that I might be getting wet. I told him it was fine to carry on. I love riding in a boat, water in my face or no. I felt like he viewed me as a porcelain doll, fragile and easily breakable.

We got back to the landing. He wouldn’t let me help him get the boat in. He had concerns I didn’t know how to get out the boat yet I got in. While he is putting the boat up on the trailer two other fishermen come up. They speak to each other and ignore me. This is that moment where people will treat you like you know nothing but don’t worry. Use it to your advantage because they will say whatever in front of you thinking you are the village idiot. What these fishermen don’t know is: you live right in the middle of the river system with access to more than one boat and can drive them by your lonesome.

I asked one of them if I could see what they caught. Fisherman #1 asked me, “How many fish did you catch?” I said a few. I walked down the dock to view the one catfish they did have with the help of Fisherman#2. Fisherman #2 started telling me a story about one of my kin scaring him and one of his buddies at the river over a cat hook set. Fisherman #2 and his buddy had stolen my kin’s fish and lied to him. After that, decided it wasn’t a good thing to do it again. My kin had a knife, whittling away at something. Fisherman #2 said my kin looked scary.  When I got back Fisherman #1 said, “I thought you said you caught a few?!” I laughed at him and said, “Its stories, not lies.”

The fisherman and I were standing by his boat. It is getting hot and he has no A/C. I told him that was okay, just to get us in the wind. I ask him for some water. He gives me a bottle and pulls one out for himself. I pick it up because I figured he was going to get in the truck but was still doing stuff. He whips around on me and says, “Are you going to drink both of those?” I stood there for a moment and replied, “No, I was just holding it for you. Did you think I was selfish and going to take it all for myself?” He said nothing. I went and got in the truck and waited. My mind trained on the fact he turned on me over a bottle of water; little hints at accusations and suspicions.

Most people have told me they think I have a husband or boyfriend hidden somewhere. Thus was the case of this fisherman. He constantly asked me where my husband was and if he was going to get beat up. I just felt cinder blocks on my shoulders.

In route home, the fisherman asked me did I want the fish. He is asking me did I want to keep my own fish. I puzzled over this but then replied, “Yes. I would like the fish.” He ended up giving me all of them. I thanked him, took the fish, and he went on his way.

Here is what I gathered from this little expedition.

People will show you in subtle ways the bigger picture of their personality, even if they try to hide it. If someone refuses to let you bait your hook, it could mean the worms are disgusting. On the other hand, this person could try to control everything about you. Add not letting you take your own fish off, could mean that person would drive you to becoming so dependent on them that you can’t do anything for yourself. Thereby this could put you in a bad position because when you get to ‘helpless status’ your self-esteem goes down and you don’t try anymore. Someone else is there to do it for you.

Equal baiting a hook, where both people have the same amount of bait, could show you that person wants you to have as good a chance at catching something as them. The mentality ‘all the bait is for me and I’ll give you scraps’ is someone you might think about avoiding. In relationships, both parties should be doing their part for each other. If one half of the unit is foreshortening your ability to bring home the bacon for the sake of their ego, you might want to think about trading in or having a come to God meeting with the significant other on selfishness. People in relationships can walk down a path together; not in single file.

If someone doesn’t ask you, “What do you know?” and just assumes you are ignorant then treats you accordingly, could mean they have very little faith in your ability upon first glance based upon appearances. This shows a superficial type of person because they only look skin-deep.

If you go with someone and they don’t let you help them, maybe they are self-sufficient. On the other hand, if they are unwilling to let you work with them in the beginning doing simply things then later on you will be shoved to the side because you would only get in the way.  Relationships work when you can work together as a team. If you can’t do simple things together, you might want to think about that….in a deer stand…for a day or two. They don’t have time to show you anything because you are a burden or obstacle. These types in relationships will not want to work with their significant other. There will be lots of fighting because the person doing everything thinks they are being put upon, when really they are shoving the help of their would-be significant other aside.

If you are going out with someone for an easy fishing expedition for the very first time, then do not bring up the relationship talk. How is that person supposed to know what the future holds when they just met you? This is called rushing and may scare them away. Conversation is a must and you have to ask questions or actually exchange dialogue. No first conversation is a home run. You don’t know one another. What were you expecting?

 Don’t assume you know anything about the person before you talk to them. Give them a chance to answer your questions before your suspicion creates a non-existent problem that is not there. How about wait to catch them in an actual lie before pouncing on them about their single or marital status.

Watch for the cracks in their personality. The real person will start bleeding out because you can’t hide what is ugly inside for very long. Take that as a warning sign.

There is also the truth that people should be able to do for themselves such as bait a hook, take a fish off a hook, and motor a boat. There are people out there that would rather you not….or so it seems.

Suspicion, suspicion.

I guess I could go on. These are a few of the things I gathered. All around, he was a pretty nice fellow. I did appreciate the fishing trip and the fish. I am still blaming it on that one guy.
What the hell do I know about it? I haven't been in that kind of relationship in a long time. I avoid restaurant first dates and movie theaters because it will make you uncomfortable and sweaty. I prefer doing something outside where I can move around and be somewhat distracted while engaging in conversations. I am sure I am not alone.

After all, it is all stories, not lies.

Written by: Angelia Y Larrimore