Being Taken Seriously Or Not?

Remember this: Maintain your reputation at all times. Don't let anyone drag you down.

Recently, I have been seeing a lot of blogs and posts on the behavior of women, I assume, that hunt. I  thought every once in a while you have people that call out others who are charicatures of the hunting endeavor, male or female.

My mind set was traveling along the lines of differing view points. I asked myself some questions.

Do women want to be taken seriously overall?

I would think the answer to this is yes. Women actually do want to be out in the field with their prospective other, even if they are man handling a gun or not. On the other hand, they might want some me time while the prospective other is out beating the bushes or talking a lot of bat guano with his friends. This is a win-win situation.

People in general like to feel accomplished. Believe it or not. Some women do feel the need to be regarded as the prospective other's rare jewel, instead of shame and regret. Men like to know they have something rare that their buddies don't have or probably never will have. That is one of the underlying tones of trophy hunting. How good a specimen it is and if its rare.

Rarity.

Men will brag on their woman like they would brag on their favorite hunting dog, gun, or truck.
Men are just simple that way.

As for security sake, I asked the question to myself: What if the prospective other was injured, which caused them to be unable to provide? What if there was no prospective other?

Women do not like to worry about the basic necessities of life, such as food and shelter. If the other half of your union, be it legal or not, is down for the count, you certainly want some reassurance  that life can be handled with very little anxiety. If you are by yourself, the last thing you need to be thinking about is how someone is going to circumvent what you have to do to survive.

If a woman ever left a man it was because of anxiety to her thinking.

How does seeing women prostrated on social media in pseudo hunting photos help the cause of women in outdoor sports?

Undoubtedly, it is not helping the role of women to much. It has generated a topic of interest. These pseudo images do generate a lot of merchandise sales for the product, but not necessarily the model.
As for posted photos, it's either going to make you want to be like that, exercise like crazy, or go on an eating binge with ho-hos. There is no way in this lifetime you'll ever look like that without a plan and commitment.

If you put a photo up of a nice looking, mostly naked woman in hunting gear she will be all the craze by men's post. Another woman will view the reaction, then mimic it hoping to get the same result. She will get the same result but not the one she was hoping for. In her mind, she was hoping to find the one. In real time, she's just being objectified like the model in the photo. Unfortunately for her, the only one getting paid is the model.

Posting seductive photos of oneself is zero in your bank account.  You also open yourself up for ridicule, losing someone you could have had a chance with, or total ruination; at least in your mind. On social media, smearing someone can go all the way to the end of Google Planet. That is as far as it gets.

Hunting aside, there are people out there with low moral character. You've made yourself a target for people of low moral character who will stalk you while making you slowly pull your photos out of sight. There is such a thing as negative attention.

Would a woman that hunts want something better for herself? Does the belief the questionable, sleazy redneck is the way to go?

Then again, you can find a person of low moral character wearing a business suit. Trust me when I say, they are on the internet right now googling.There are some people that do take pictures of themselves, but before social media hit, that was something private for yourself.

Is it necessary to show the whole world what your mama gave you?

Sadly, men might comment up and down on a post of  naughty girl pictures. When it comes to their mate they don't feel like sharing, especially with the whole world and their buddies.

As a guy, do I really want ten of my buddies getting a good look at my gal's back or front porches? What if said buddies got the idea to come over while you weren't there?

Male animals fight over females all the time, good breeders or not.

Does a woman want her picture posted up beside a trophy kill? Isn't she the same thing? One more conquest to claim or reminiscence over? Valueless and the topic of some gaggle of men's degrading comments? The butt of someone's jokes that makes others perceive her as less of a human?

Anytime you place a visual out in the public you are inadvertently, unintentionally advertising. Let us get one thing straight though, people do know what they are doing and what will come of it. In this case, do not feel so bad for them when overtly sexual comments ensue. The road travels both ways on this subject. .

The creepy little mind is what connects the dots on what the viewer thinks you're saying even if your message is different from the one they receive. With that being said, I do exclude the more formal sports where tweed is worn (only because tweed is awesome). You don't have to dress in camo all the time given the game you are chasing. We are looking at allowances here because they exist.

If there is a group of people that contend women were not a part of hunting and shooting before, this is a valid statement. (For those that say, this is not true, go visit a museum, that illustrates the idea; a museum where out-of-date reliquaries are left out of mainstream; it is history, not current). Instead of being a by-standers, they are actual participants. There is also within that group, like minded people that feel to maintain a momentum of self-decorum or even self respect, it would be prudent to exercise some kind of restraint when being a role model (even if you don't think you are one or chose to be one) for other women. I can understand arguments ensuing on this subject. People tend to want to do whatever they please, even if it brings them grief at their own hands.

Overall there is an undertone of hunting being under attack, so how one would present themselves to avoid a bad reputation to the outdoor sports, or to oneself, is something you need to take into account. Never make what you are endeavoring to do look bad. If you make it look bad it will reflect poorly on you. I say that, but the Herblock that I am, must ask the tough questions.

You are your own salesman.

I would think it would be the same thing for women. If before in the past other women were not mixed up in the hunting soup, but now you had your chance, why would you do things to make it seem uncomely or a turn off?

Women in hunting want to make strides without setbacks. Once you can overcome the supposed difference in men and women, there can be a camaraderie between the two sexes when out in the field. If that leads into something else that is a little bit stronger than a passing physical infatuation, then so be it. You will not suffer for it. If you take up hunting merely to find a husband or a boyfriend, eventually he will see right through you. You'll be back at the house, as a non-participant or by-stander.

There is also the scenarios where you will be thinking you've found "a live one" only to be disappointed. The person is trolling for someone they can enjoy for the moment or a fantasy.

The bigger question is overall as a group, do women want to be respected for our skill and our respectable position in society? Do we use hunting only as a platform to get a date or a husband?
No one that I know of likes to do something for the sake of nothing. At the same time, one person would be insulted that the strides they make in the global outlook on hunting is degraded by the acts of a handful of misguided souls.

There is a big difference in sharing yourself with one or two people versus sharing yourself with the world.  Even with one or two people, they only glimpse a small fragment of you and not the deeper self of who you are. Non-disclosure can work wonders for your self-esteem.

As a female who hunts, I don't think about this as I get ready to go spend my time in the woods or on stand. I just enjoy myself and let that be a controversy for late night blogging after the hunting is done.

Again do you want to be a person who posts as an activist with words of rage while squirming in your computer chair hoping to get someone to notice your tirade? Do you desire to get in an online altercation or are you just going to do what you do without all that tantrum crap?

Really it boils down to a personal choice. What do you chose to do? Sexual innuendo photo on social media or not?

Do you want to be taken seriously or not? If so, act like it.


~Courtesy of the AOFH~

Old Injuries, the Spine, and Recoil.

Remember this: This ain't Spinal Tap.

The other night at a meeting of the AOFH, I was sitting down to a nice meal of Venison stew with sweet potatoes, wild rice, and biscuits. Good conversation always makes food taste better along with close friends in small intimate settings. One of the ladies that frequents our little pau wau in the bushes named Mrs. Trish was sitting across from me working her plate over. I asked how things had been since her accident back in 2003.

Mrs. Trish had injured her back which caused her to have a burst fracture of T-12. She said she was doing really well with it. I thought this might be a good time to ask how that was working out for her with shooting a gun.  I wanted to know if it affected her performance, emotionally or physically. Mrs Trish told me that one day while waiting in the stand she took down a buck with a .270 Winchester that belonged to her husband. He was somewhere else in another place hunting as they hunted together. She said she didn't go as often as she use to. I asked why? She said after she shot the buck the adrenaline kicked in and she got down from the stand, called her husband then waited for him to come 'give him poke' to make sure he was finished. Her husband took care of everything while she went up to the house to fix supper. 

The next morning she got up from bed and realized she was tender in her back area. Taking some medication helped her through the day but two days later her husband took her along again to sit in the stand. She crawled up but noticed that she felt she was struggling up the ladder. When she finally got up to the seat, she was slightly shaking. Thinking she had exerted herself, she started breathing to calm her nerves. After a while this problem seemed to go away. While watching the tree line in this corn field that had been combined she saw some deer come out the woods. She took aim but realized that she started shaking all over to the point she felt a little outside herself. I asked her, "What in the world, Mrs. Trish?" She told me that she thought the recoil from the gun had irritated her back wound. 

These strange symptoms scared her which prompted her to call Mr. Paul to come get her out the stand because she didn't want to fall. Not undaunted she went to the doctor to get examined and pain medication. Now she pre- and post-medicates before going up in a stand and firing off her husband's gun. She had surmised the shock of the recoil traveling through her body when she shot the rifle had irritated her in some way that she didn't notice until later because her body didn't have time to compensate or get over it. Mrs. Trish told me she loved shooting but at her age and impairments was resolute to use good judgement on the quality instead of the quantity of her hunting and shooting habits. Given her handicaps she was in a reasonably good mood about her future in the sport with her husband offering his support all the way.

That brought up an interesting view of recoil. (Then again Mrs. Trish could have been having a heart attack up in that stand when she realized she was going to get lucky a second time?)

Recoil by definition is the backward momentum of a gun when discharged. You could say the backward movement of the gun equals the forward movement of the bullet and gasses (you might smell or see this when the bullet travels down the barrel and exits the bore or the business end of the gun.) I don't want to get into the physics. If you want to know more about that go on a googling run of your own at your leisure.

There are ways to reduce recoil in your gun:

• recoil wad
• hard shot
• porting
• powder type
• mercurial or mechanical reducers
• stock fit
• recoil pads
• action type

*This would be some good subjects to research on if you are interested in the subject of recoil reduction in your gun.*

Some of the issues that can affect your shooting if you have a back injury or other is:

• Inability to adopt a normal shooting position.
• Carrying or shooting a heavier or more powerful weapon.
• Strain or fatigue in the arms and hands.
• Moving the torso around the pivot of the hips.
• Lose speed and smoothness.
• Lower endurance.
• Performance anxiety
• disabling yourself for a while

After reviewing this scenario and the possible repercussions it brings, going to the doctor every once in a while and getting your self aligned or even checked could benefit your overall health. It will also make you think more on your decisions as to what type of gun, ammo and how often you shoot.  You may want to go to what some people refer to as a 'lesser gun' but have no shame in it.

 
Every once in a while, people give the 'big guns' a try but its really not that necessary unless you are truly hunting something that calls for it. There is no need to impress anyone. One well placed bullet from a modest gun can do just as much with less mess than a arm or hand cannon.

 
In Mrs. Trish case, depending on your ailments, even a little bit of recoil or shock can put you out of commission for X amount of time, so tread carefully. You want to be able to shoot and hunt for many moons, not be laid up in a hospital waiting on surgery or hitting the morphine button.

 
Never go hunting medicated unless its a medication that doesn't disorient your or compromise your ability to act with common sense or caution. Prescription drugs have a way of altering your thinking ability along with your reaction times. I personally do not want to go hunting with a 'Slow Joe' or a 'Hallucinating Lucy". The last thing you need is to run the bush with your hunting co-pilot and wonder if she's seeing zombies. You might get mistaken for one.

Use common sense if not let your significant other think for you or even your hunting buddy if your mental faculties are termporarily impaired. Also remember its great to go solo hunting but when you're out in the bush accidents happen. Don't go alone if you can. You never know what is around the bend: a broken leg, misfired bullet, a mauling, or snake bite. Be safe not stupid. Egos get people killed everyday.

~Courtesy of the AOFH~

 

Woodland Management: Wildlfe and Succession Forests

 

Remember this: Plan to day. Benefit tomorrow.

 

Lately I have been doing some work on a pine plantation. Pine plantations are stands where the trees are planted in rows. This is beneficial because you can drive down the rows to mow any unwanted underbrush or weed. The purpose here is not to let the underbrush (understory) grow out of hand. The ultimate goal is not to allow it to form into an unkempt forest of succession even though if it is left unattended over the years this could happen. It is a strange comment but sometimes you have to landscape your forest garden for the benefit of the wildlife, bugs, plant flora and enrich the soil itself. It being a habitat in itself managing the pine plantation improved the overall health of the habitat and surrounding areas.

I took a break to sit on a camo five gallon bucket overlooking a soybean field that abutted a cemetary. I was laying in wait reading a book when I got to the section that stated second growth trees and shrubs can grow so tall that it is not feasible or possible for deer to browse on the foliage. The concept here was that these tracts would eventually turn into a climax forest that couldn't support larger herds.

A climax forest or forest succession is a tract of land or forest that develops over a period of time.  Wildlife come and go carrying transient seeds. These seeds start to grow and the variety of plant flora changes with its own set of life sustaining demands. The soil erodes and becomes altered. Weather and climate changes make or destroy life at any given time. There in the ground is the forum for a sort of plant competition where all things start out small but with each passing year the foliage gets taller, thicker, or densier. The reason for this is pioneering species of trees that live in the upperstory sprout understory offspring which eventually replace them or fill in the space until the older tree dies or falls. If this area is not managed to maintain a stead sense of equal balance it will overgrow itself. This will eventuate in large amounts of work to tame it back to a manageable space. You may have some wildlife but not the kind you would see meandering about.

Even as a hunter or just someone taking a walk, you find times where you stop and look at the bushes and those things unseen and think, "I am not walking into that." No one likes a briar patch. The only creature that likes a briar patch is one that is running from a predator. Even then it depends on who is in hot pursuit. The species mix of trees is constant. Transient wildlife that does come and go will most likely not stay if the browse of their choice is not present. If there is no brush or understory trees for them to feed on they have no reason to be there. They certainly can't climb up a tree unless the animal is a coon or opossum.

The forest or tract of land goes through cycles of varying durations of different factors that affect it in negative and positive ways.

Animals live in these places with insects and pertinent fungus for the same reason humans live where they live. Its basic need. Food, shelter, a place to reproduce, security, a place to hide, and co-exist with other creatures that can add to their benefit or survival. 

People would argue that pine plantations are not that beneficial but it depends on where you put it and how it affects the area.

Does it improve the area or not?

This particular pine plantation was planted on non-abandoned agricultural land. It was a personal choice. Hardwoods were not replaced. When this is done the area usually is a wetland and removing the hardwoods to replace it with pine will dry the area up. At the time of planting there was no habitat or biodiversity loss. Now years before you might could argue that before it was turned to farmland but not now. That time is past.

Now the pine plantation I am working does exists as a wildlife corridor and acts as a buffer for the neighboring natural forest that is a hardwood forest only feet away. There is a healthy contained mix of varying tree species increasing the options for different wildlife that want to dwell in one but feed off the other.

Factoring in the  environmental and ecological impact you will create or affect with a pine plantation is how you manage it.

Management is key: what  you do on it, to it, or around it will affect the land parcel in some way.

Managing a pine stand also bring the beneficial option of not intruding on natural forests for commercial gain. Its the 'other option'. These pine plantations are highly productive and the requirement for a large space of land is low.

This also brings about the point of how you can use a small section of land for maximum production without depleting the ground itself by using what is growing on it to sustain nutrient cycling on a property.

As far as wildlife goes, creatures have enough cover to hide in but without movement being restricted in such a way to make them learn the lay of the land works more as a trap than an escape route.

As a hunter, land owner or coalition of people trying to make the world or your speck a better place, the following should be considered:

• Develop a management plan.
• Plant variety and maintenance
• Site preparation and management
• Mid rotation management
• Late rotation management
• Landscape considerations
• Harvest Techniques
• Edge maintenance and consideration
• Fertilizers and Herbacides

Creatures a pine plantation encourages in short:

• Cicadidas
• Rabbits
• Squirrel
• Deer
• Raptor birds
• Spiders
• Varying birds
• Raccoon
• Snakes
• Small animals
• Quail or small game birds 
• Bear
• Boar
• Fox

I was pondering the comments of people on the internet about how hunters do conservation today. How much money they put into the system on licenses and merchandise that feeds back into state governed and maintained public land. Great, I say but what about the little man you don't give credit to that lives across the street from you. You know, the one that disappears each morning, plugging away in his little neck of the woods for wildlife and plants that can't go out and buy things at the store to make their lives a luxury? That is the unsung hero you probably overlook or never know. I thought this was a nice statement but hunters are just as adapt at building and maintaining habitats for the game they pursue. Its nice to see people exchanging tirades but its the rare bird that will show you they are talking the talk and walking the walk. 

 

People have words but I have words and actions.

 

As a tool for anyone that would like to get educated on this concept feel free to copy this link and go read something before reading is out of fashion.

 

http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/forestry/pdf/WON/won38.pdf

 

  ~Courtesy of the AOFH~

 

The Mystique of the Whitetail

Remember this: People see deer everywhere even in their dreams.

Since whitetail season has opened on Sept 1, I have thought a lot about the mystique of the animal.  The deer can suit itself to the circumstances. Depending on the terrain, the whitetail seems to be able to blend in, being a russet, tawny, pied color markings for the brush areas. When the deer comes out of the hardwood forest, the coat can be beech tree gray. There are deer now showing the albino trait. It can look like a log when it is lying down, or be standing in broomstraw eyeballing you down. Most bucks learn to stay in the tree line while a doe or two makes themselves a very easy target. If you have one buck to eight doe, I guess this would make for a wonderful strategy. Make no mistake, deer especially in herds if they are truly wild have a strategy for giving the hunter a wide berth. Unless they are not paying attention. They have the innate ability to move through brush without making a sound. A hunter can't miss the twig with its snap that sounds like dynamite to your ears. Their legs can look like thin trees or saplings. Everything about the deer is visually deceptive.

Deer in different parts of the country vary in size and weight depending on the availability of nutrients. These nutrients can be wild grown but agriculture and food plot management by the discriminating hunter can supplement any shortage. They eat whatever is seasonal. If you go by weight a buck could be 135-165 lbs down South but up North the weight could be 300 lbs. Does are between 125-160 lbs. When you are hunting them, they don't make for very big targets especially running. If you hog dress one out, you find that you lose a percentage (25%) of what that weight would be in meat because so much goes to bone, entrails, skin, and antlers. Don't be surprised when you go to the wildgame processor and get back much less than what you thought you had: you are not eating the complete deer.

There are about thirty subspecies distributed from Canada to Central America. All of these can overlap and interbreed causing a mixture of varying physical traits
Because of their adaptability, they can outsmart you unless you're using some high tech gadgetry but its not under heard of for someone to jump a buck. In this day and age, technology has taken all of the challenge out of the hunt.

At one point in their evolution, they were solely diurnal but when the concept of hunting was introduced they become more and more nocturnal in their browsing habits to avoid being killed. In the poor light of nightfall, you may see the ghostly shadow of movement as they weave in and out of the tree line. The deer will walk down the inside of canal ditches to avoid being seen on flat land, hide in briar balls, or sleep beside a barn where farm animals are kept. They will even fall in with a herd of farm animals just to seem like one of the crowd. The browse that they eat can consist of 600 or more different kinds of plant material.

Whitetail are masters of skulking only second to turkey. Bears and cougars are just silent and deadly.

Whitetail do not migrate, which benefits the hunter because the home range can be a square mile. Even if during the breeding season, a buck is looking for does but will add a couple of miles to his roaming area. A buck could have a base camp, if you will, where he will move out but then come back fairly quick. This is a survival mechanism. Go but don't stay gone to long. I have often wondered at this particular rigid philosophy. If the habitat changes then so when the creature.

With this said, looking for game trails is a good habit, especially heavily used game trails. Usually where they feed and where they bed is a short distance. They will take the same path you might cut through the woods but be weary. It can be abandoned just as fast as it is made. Usually you'll see lots of tracks, scat, or the smell of breeding season as hormones and urine are cast about. Sometimes in the case of trampling, the current path you have found might change by a couple of hundred yards so walking about to assess the situation or rethink your strategy is a must. Sometimes they just find something a little better to enjoy.

When the breeding season comes you might get a chance because hormones are raging and stupidity or carelessness reigns supreme. While breeding the buck will show himself more out in the open. He'll seek out and clash with other bucks for mating rites. Bucks will walk themselves to death while in the rut. The mating season will see them eat and drink less which puts them in a poor state of health. This could also contribute to their 'slip of the mind' when trying to avoid being shot.

With this being said, a buck can hide right underneath you for the remainder of his days on a square mile of land. He will see you before you see him. He lives there and he knows where you are. I argue again, if you use cameras this will upend your hunting experience to some  degree. Everywhere I look there is a stand, a camera, and a photo. All you have to do is come back, sit and wait.

Whitetails are color-blind but they see motion really well. This probably contributed to the high sales of camo cover to help the hunter be undetectable. As a rule, a buck sometimes ignores a stationary object unless there is a sound or smell that tips him off. A deer can see you blink your eye from 60 yards away. I argue this point now because if you went by television the deer must be acclimated to a person in a tree with little forethought of danger. Being really still then waiting for them to turn their head is something you would really have to remember unconsciously when you are excited about one walking into your sights. Fast or sudden movements will not win you the day.

Their hearing is acute. They can hear your stomach growling, a twig snap, or a click of some metal bumping. Muffling stand parts is essential. You can fool them with rattling or grunt calls which mimic the different sexes or offspring. You would really need to know what that sounds like because you just can't blow your horn an expect them to accept you for another deer.

With these few tidbits being said it is not always an animal that is easy to hunt. I do experience internal conflict on this subject due to the relative ease to kill one now. Agriculture and human population growths have made the whitetail homeland smaller. Sightings are more frequent especially at night when they hang around highways eating the grass off the side of the road. 

Deer that have become less inclined to avoid humans are not much sport because they start to look and act like a tame goat or cow. This makes them lose their mystique. Even though mystique is an illusion it is one worth chasing blindly after.

~Courtesy of the AOFH~
 

The Beagle Napper

Remember this: A good dog always keeps his nose either to the ground or in the air.

This evening I spent about two or three hours in a 12 acre Pine stand with a machete cutting off the lower limbs to make way for a tractor to drive through the rows. There were places riddled with briars. I was also keeping Deep Woods Off in business but the thought of poisoning myself with Deet and helping the mosquitoes spread West Nile didn't make no never mind to me. By the time I got through I had lost more than one battle with the thorned bush as the tale tell red marks were on my ankles. I was making my observations as I was walking through. The pine stand abuts a cotton field but has a grass road around it so one can drive a full circle around it. I was moving along at a relaxed pace whacking and looking at the ground. I noticed something heavy with a big split toe was visiting the spot. 

I thought that was interesting as there were not a lot of tracks to see there. Out on the sandy dirt road I could see the deer prints traveling up and down the drive. I walked along the cotton field. Nothing. Maybe it was Santa's reindeer I thought or a Jesus deer that could walk on water or not touch land? Probably not. One blister, one broken ax and a bad tick infestation later, my son and I went back to the ranch. I wanted to get this hanging feeder out of a tree because it was never used and there was another one left on a different tree. My son drove along the outside of a field in a fit to get revenge for almost tossing him and his friends out my truck. He almost tossed me: right into the bushes. Don't worry! I am an old pro. I held on for dear life. lmao.

Let me tell you. This kid was complaining about everything at this point but he was hungry. After we got this big J shaped PCV pipe I instructed him on which way to go. I got him to drive through the woods which he dubiously did. I don't think he trusts me sometimes? I got out and moved limbs for him. We finally got through the woods to the other side where I wanted to be and put up the feeder. Looking over the acreage you can see that the deer tore through it since they cut the pine stand from last year down by eating leaves and stripping anything green. Now in some places its like a tunnel system you would see underground. Dark and uninviting. One of my prospects was to grow ginger root in the area.

After we finished this I took my son home to feed him but then came back to sit in a stand in the far rear of the acreage. I figured I wouldn't see anything but got a little squirmy back there for some reason.

I will not lie. The other day I saw a buck come out the woods trailing his girls. Since then I have been anxious over this deer and worried someone else would shoot him before I did. Oh the horror! lmao. I have been mulling it over trying to figure out where to position myself to get this one buck. He runs slow and he holds his head like a Chinese goose that is about to attack. Down and forward. Moving he doesn't look very big. Maybe he is a midget deer. Big rack no substance? This buck is one of those kind that will sleep under your window at night then knock on it with his horns saying, "Haa haa. Here I am. You haven't got me yet, you moron."

Back to my train of thought, I was sitting in this stand being all squirmy and playing with a buck grunt. While I waited I tied this blistering bright orange nylon string onto the 30-30. I wanted it to hang across my back and not off my shoulder this way I could crawl in and out of tree without the butt of the gun hitting beneath me. I have no idea why but all day I was thinking in my mind that it wasn't a day to sit in a stand or be on the look out. As I was sitting there I thought I heard the voices of men but they sounded like they were coming from a tube? I finally got to hot and said, "Screw it. I am going to the house." I crawled out the stand and made my way back across the field in grass that was way over my head. 

The idea that something could come tearing through there did cross my mind. I walked up to my truck but saw something moving. I stopped then realized it was a tri-colored beagle with an orange color. I started to call him thinking he might come to me. He crept off under the truck. I offered it some water in a ceramic flower pot. No go. It acted like it wanted to come to me but grinned then went back under the truck. I started to laugh at it and asked, "Do you have rabies? You looked like you have rabies." He grinned again from under the bed of my truck. I laid my rifle up on the tailgate. Who the hell had turned their dog loose back here? Or was it from somewhere else. I decided I would just get in my truck. Once I did I sat there thinking about this stupid dog that looked a little old. Ugh! I thought I would make one last try. I opened the door and looked back at the dog who was at my tailgate. "Dog, I am going to leave you here to die unless you would like a ride?" I hit my leg a time or two then waited. He was thinking about it. Finally after a hilarious stare down and one toothy grin he conceded to me and walked over with his head down. I felt kinda bad for him. 

That dog knew it was go time. He crawls up to my foot and lays down on his belly like he's saying, "I don't know what you're going to do to me but I don't want to stay here." I didn't know if he was one of those kinds of dogs that if you pick them up they will bite you. I reached down and grabbed him by the loose skin on his neck then hauls him into my lap. I tossed him into the passenger seat where he laid down full on panting. I shut the door and started to laugh as I looked at this dog. "It's your lucky day dog. Aren't you glad I came along?" I turned on the truck then drove back off with the dog who looked like a Barney. 

I got back to the house and wrote the number down then called his master. His master was this skinny guy driving a Nissan. When he came to collect him, two huge guys jumped out and I wondered how they all got in there. I stopped skill sawing a board then gave him his dog who stunk up my truck. I did feed him some dog food and water him.  This guy named Tron (someone liked Disney I guess) told me he was using these beagles to run deer across the river. They swam across it to find their way on my side. 

Now I know why the deer came out the swamp on Friday. I didn't say much to him but they packed back in the sardine can truck then took off to look for the other dogs they turned loose and left. I did notice they didn't have tracking collars on them. Must not care to much about getting them back is all I can say. I watched Barney drive away in his dog box down the road never to be seen again.

 

After they left I finally cut my boards then took the schnauzer down in the golf cart to put boards in the box stand so I can have a writing surface while I wait and a cooler.

Once again in a weird fit when I got back I crawled up on top of the buck barn to view the back field that is used for a quail-dove plot. As the light got dim I thought I saw something in the shadow of the tree line but decided I needed to quit and crawl down before I fell down in the dark. I can imagine how the scene would look: me laying lifeless on the ground between a toilet and a shower my brother had left for my dad to install 'somewhere' and I stress 'somewhere'.

My tombstone epitaph: THE BUCK MADE HER DO IT!.


~Courtesy of the AOFH~