.....................I am Killing a Woman.

Remember this: You are not going to read this in Field & Stream.

I went to the doctor's office for an ear infection. When I walked in there was this man I knew that I really don't care for. Like some relationships the wife got in an accident, got a pay out and divorced him. Undoubtedly there is some unresolved issues there. I was sitting in an exam room minding my own business when I hear the loud public conversation between the nurse and this man about deer hunting. In brief this was what it was about:

Man X states to the nurse he has been hunting. He brags he has been shooting anything that moves with a hit number of four. The nurse tells him just make sure it has horns. He tells her that every time he shoots a deer he imagines he is shooting and killing a woman.

With this being said, this could have been a woman. Fair is fair. It just happened to be a man on this day.  Why I am the one that hears this is beyond me? I was reading a book where the tendency to have homicidal fantasies was pretty close on female and male parts.

I sat in the exam room disturbed. I have been in the same area hunting with this man. What if he decided to cap me and call it an accident because I am of no importance?  I told my dad and I don't think he believed me, but my dad is always taking other peoples' sides. This goes to show you, when you are standing beside a stranger, you have no idea what kind of person they are, what their thoughts are,  and if they are a good enough pretender,  can try to pull the wool over your eyes if opportunity presents itself.

I assumed  this whole attitude was from a life crisis that wasn't dealt with appropriately. I wondered about the attitude of people to put a gender into a box and judge everyone accordingly, just because they have a vagina. Here this man's wife had harmed him in his mind, he didn't deal with it in a healthy way, if he dealt with it at all, and now he was punishing everything female, human and animal. Of course when you have couples issues, each individual is only dwelling on the 'me' of the situation. That is probably how they got there in the first place; lack of consideration for the other and no compromise. (I exclude people that are truly evil and torment their spouse because that is a whole separate beast.)

My reasoning behind this is how hunting can become a violent outlet for germinating psychological problems and how the hunter can cross that blurred line of right and wrong to become something much darker.   Also the blanketing of a group through a form of internal resentment without justification to the punishment that is doled out to innocent victims. The person hurts so they hurt others. This doesn't seem to make sense as it causes more suffering to a greater variety of people and things. You could consider this the bubonic plague of pain because it spread all over the Europe of our life, killing everything in its path until you find a cure. The cure is coming to terms with  yourself for your failings, vulnerabilities, and schemes you've concocted to foil other people through manipulation and lies.

People in bad relationships do not seek the help they need to overcome issues. Most people are afraid to go to a therapist because someone might call them crazy. Trust me when I say if you kill someone they are going to call you crazy anyway. You whole memory on Earth will be tarnished. Is that a way for people to exit the world? In the negative?  They would rather tell a friend or minister that is not bound by law to spread their drama. Yet the whole community finds out and each party, depending on who is in the right or wrong, loves to get the sympathy for the tragedy while the other is the villain. Once your break-up is old news, no one cares anymore and they move on. The problem is in your mind, you don't. You stay in this horrible festering place of darkness that bleeds out into everything thing around  you from your perspective.

In consideration of the man's behavior,  I wondered how it could be contrasted with another sort of situation. I then thought that this could be applied to the behavior of people who hunt on social media.  In this excerpt you have an imaginary social situation:

"we asked subjects to imagine the same scenario: that they were at a party and that a classmate they knew spilled a drink on them and failed to apologize. Their choices were to (1) hit the person (2) insult the person to his or her face (3) push the person or (4) get in person's face (all forms of direct aggression); or to (5) talk behind the person's back, (7) try to exclude the person from a social group, or (8) make up a lie about the person (all four being forms of indirect aggression)." (Kenrick 33)

Sounds vaguely familiar. In this day and age you would think people would have learned by now that violence doesn't solve all problems. It just causes more.

I would say to the hunter or huntress sitting in the stand with a gun pointing towards a target: If you are holding a gun and seeing a person that you think you hate, put it down and find some help. There are therapists available or counselors to help you work through your problem.  Don't trust anyone else to keep your secrets because the first time you piss them off they are going to tattle it all in good time. This will only make you feel more betrayed. Betrayal drives a lot of murders along with obsessive thoughts of ownership or possessions.

Here is a personal story as to the nature of potential toxic relationships.

I went on a horseback riding trip with a older man I thought was a friend. His designs weren't that way. I blamed it on the moon.  He was very possessive and like to crowd you. One day when we were riding in the moonlight he told me how he tried to load a young horse into a trailer. The horse wouldn't buge. Horses tend to be claustrophobic and depending on the color of the trailer interior or if there is a panel will not load without the smarts of the loader. Some horses will even scramble at full speed in a horse trailer. You don't want to traumatize the animal or cause it to harm itself because I have seem horses flip over in a paneled two horse trailer to land on its back upside down. Very dangerous stuff. This man told me he got a whip and beat the horse until it couldn't stand and was tied to the trailer. I was just quiet. I knew right then being a friend with him just wouldn't work because he would probably get mad one day and do the same to me. Sure enough when I tried to separate myself from him he started showing up to my job. One of the older ladies that worked with me told me to stay away from him because I didn't need someone violent or unstable that couldn't be counted on. Who wants to have to wake up every morning, wet their finger and see which way the wind is blowing?

This is an example of a calling card of a potential toxic or bad relationship. Heed it. I can imagine when the obsessive person doesn't get their way and wants the animal to mind they are capable of anything. I am glad I escaped with no more than the stank eye. That is the worrisome thing. You have someone sitting in their house visualizing heinous things in their head that are accumulation of memories where these images re-enforce anger that turns into pure out murderous hate. The other person that these emotions are directed at never see it coming or know it but don't want to believe their life is in peril.

Don't get me wrong,  there are people that wave the old red flag in peoples' face causing their own demise. This kind of person is  living in Delusional City. They have no concept their lives are in danger, the things they do can cause other people to get killed, and think they know the other person so well that it can't possibly happen. These types of people go right back for more punishment. I call them Dumb As A Rock. The person thus shows up somewhere packing a murderous fury that ends in a string of connected lives being destroyed and all for naught. The man above did come to my work out the blue angry and I wasn't even in a relationship with him. I had only been on less than three outings and I am sure I couldn't make that big of an impression on him. He could have been thinking of doing me harm and I wouldn't have even known it. We are not gifted with telekinesis or Sookie Stackhouse-like powers.

Given the situation above, anything can happen. When it comes to hunting and having a weapon, once again, if you visualize killing someone that you are temporarily mad at, stop, put the gun down, and go find help. I say this because, when you start developing distorted rationale your life becomes hindered for the negative in all kinds of ways.  These feelings are temporary if you decide not to hold onto them. Most people can't let go of the past. Not that you should forget a wrong done you but don't let someone repeat it again. Shame on you the second time. You don't have to be violent or punish the next person for someone else's crimes against your heart.

Remember not to pick the same person over and over. The habit is to pick a person that is familiar but not exactly the same. You're only getting the person from your past relationship and you will try to do the same things thereby committing the same errors. Its human habit. Be still inside yourself and learn from  your mistakes. If you have to make more mistakes make sure the whole situation and person is different. Get out the relationship rut. Learn to communicate and stop being a selfish  "I am right all the time" douche. You are in control of your mind, actions and thought. Blaming someone else continuously doesn't get you off the hook. Above all else,  move on. Become the nomad of love for love's sake until you find that fruitful valley to settle down. Don't settle; you'll only become angry, cheated, and miserly.

Rethink your thought process and question what is passing through your mind. Test, challenge the thoughts to see if there is proof. If not,  think something positive to counter the bad thought. You have the power in  you to do that. The bad thought doesn't control you. You really do have a choice.

The other mindsets to counter this killing image is: you will lose your life or the freedom to live your life. People that kill others tend to kill themselves, once they realize acting on this behavior has caused their life to be ruined with jail, guilt, and public condemnation to name a few. If you kill someone and hide the body,  you'll always be looking over your shoulder.

If you go to jail, all you will see is other people that could kill you and have to think about  the freedom and life you lost. If you kill someone, you can't reanimate them to right a wrong. Dead is dead. If you believe in religion, you will be damned to infernal Hells, pits of fire, and eternal torture. How is that for scary?

Say it once more with feeling....Hell fire.

On the other hand, you can forgive yourself, forget the other person, move on and find nirvana in life.
You can hunt because you're not in jail. You can eat deer meat because you didn't commit suicide in lieu of murder. You get to drink coffee on some mountainside while glassing for mountain goats. Why ruin your life? The person is not worth a wasted life. There is a more worthy person that will love and tolerate you.  If you throw down bad relationship habits and get brave to learn from other people, a licensed therapist or God forbide you pick up a book and read it; life will change. You are not the only person in the world to ever have their heart broken. Nor are  you  the only one that could ever think about doing someone in. It's the execution of that desire that will ruin you. Don't do it. Hunt another day when your mind is right.

With that being said, it is my hope that hunters and huntresses leave the relationship problems in the therapist office where they belong, and not in the deer stand.

Otherwise, the other option is be happy with yourself. You are whole, in control, and don't have to sully your good life because of a bad person. They can buy a one way ticket to Forget You.
Don't ruin your life because of a couple of  bad apples. The worms and ground get them in the end.

~Courtesy of the AOFH~

Copyright © 2026 All Rights Reserved.


Literature Cited:

Kenrick, Douglas. T. Sex Murder and the Meaning of Life. New York, NY: Basic Books. (2011). pp. 33

Being Taken Seriously Or Not?

Remember this: Maintain your reputation at all times. Don't let anyone drag you down.

Recently, I have been seeing a lot of blogs and posts on the behavior of women, I assume, that hunt. I  thought every once in a while you have people that call out others who are charicatures of the hunting endeavor, male or female.

My mind set was traveling along the lines of differing view points. I asked myself some questions.

Do women want to be taken seriously overall?

I would think the answer to this is yes. Women actually do want to be out in the field with their prospective other, even if they are man handling a gun or not. On the other hand, they might want some me time while the prospective other is out beating the bushes or talking a lot of bat guano with his friends. This is a win-win situation.

People in general like to feel accomplished. Believe it or not. Some women do feel the need to be regarded as the prospective other's rare jewel, instead of shame and regret. Men like to know they have something rare that their buddies don't have or probably never will have. That is one of the underlying tones of trophy hunting. How good a specimen it is and if its rare.

Rarity.

Men will brag on their woman like they would brag on their favorite hunting dog, gun, or truck.
Men are just simple that way.

As for security sake, I asked the question to myself: What if the prospective other was injured, which caused them to be unable to provide? What if there was no prospective other?

Women do not like to worry about the basic necessities of life, such as food and shelter. If the other half of your union, be it legal or not, is down for the count, you certainly want some reassurance  that life can be handled with very little anxiety. If you are by yourself, the last thing you need to be thinking about is how someone is going to circumvent what you have to do to survive.

If a woman ever left a man it was because of anxiety to her thinking.

How does seeing women prostrated on social media in pseudo hunting photos help the cause of women in outdoor sports?

Undoubtedly, it is not helping the role of women to much. It has generated a topic of interest. These pseudo images do generate a lot of merchandise sales for the product, but not necessarily the model.
As for posted photos, it's either going to make you want to be like that, exercise like crazy, or go on an eating binge with ho-hos. There is no way in this lifetime you'll ever look like that without a plan and commitment.

If you put a photo up of a nice looking, mostly naked woman in hunting gear she will be all the craze by men's post. Another woman will view the reaction, then mimic it hoping to get the same result. She will get the same result but not the one she was hoping for. In her mind, she was hoping to find the one. In real time, she's just being objectified like the model in the photo. Unfortunately for her, the only one getting paid is the model.

Posting seductive photos of oneself is zero in your bank account.  You also open yourself up for ridicule, losing someone you could have had a chance with, or total ruination; at least in your mind. On social media, smearing someone can go all the way to the end of Google Planet. That is as far as it gets.

Hunting aside, there are people out there with low moral character. You've made yourself a target for people of low moral character who will stalk you while making you slowly pull your photos out of sight. There is such a thing as negative attention.

Would a woman that hunts want something better for herself? Does the belief the questionable, sleazy redneck is the way to go?

Then again, you can find a person of low moral character wearing a business suit. Trust me when I say, they are on the internet right now googling.There are some people that do take pictures of themselves, but before social media hit, that was something private for yourself.

Is it necessary to show the whole world what your mama gave you?

Sadly, men might comment up and down on a post of  naughty girl pictures. When it comes to their mate they don't feel like sharing, especially with the whole world and their buddies.

As a guy, do I really want ten of my buddies getting a good look at my gal's back or front porches? What if said buddies got the idea to come over while you weren't there?

Male animals fight over females all the time, good breeders or not.

Does a woman want her picture posted up beside a trophy kill? Isn't she the same thing? One more conquest to claim or reminiscence over? Valueless and the topic of some gaggle of men's degrading comments? The butt of someone's jokes that makes others perceive her as less of a human?

Anytime you place a visual out in the public you are inadvertently, unintentionally advertising. Let us get one thing straight though, people do know what they are doing and what will come of it. In this case, do not feel so bad for them when overtly sexual comments ensue. The road travels both ways on this subject. .

The creepy little mind is what connects the dots on what the viewer thinks you're saying even if your message is different from the one they receive. With that being said, I do exclude the more formal sports where tweed is worn (only because tweed is awesome). You don't have to dress in camo all the time given the game you are chasing. We are looking at allowances here because they exist.

If there is a group of people that contend women were not a part of hunting and shooting before, this is a valid statement. (For those that say, this is not true, go visit a museum, that illustrates the idea; a museum where out-of-date reliquaries are left out of mainstream; it is history, not current). Instead of being a by-standers, they are actual participants. There is also within that group, like minded people that feel to maintain a momentum of self-decorum or even self respect, it would be prudent to exercise some kind of restraint when being a role model (even if you don't think you are one or chose to be one) for other women. I can understand arguments ensuing on this subject. People tend to want to do whatever they please, even if it brings them grief at their own hands.

Overall there is an undertone of hunting being under attack, so how one would present themselves to avoid a bad reputation to the outdoor sports, or to oneself, is something you need to take into account. Never make what you are endeavoring to do look bad. If you make it look bad it will reflect poorly on you. I say that, but the Herblock that I am, must ask the tough questions.

You are your own salesman.

I would think it would be the same thing for women. If before in the past other women were not mixed up in the hunting soup, but now you had your chance, why would you do things to make it seem uncomely or a turn off?

Women in hunting want to make strides without setbacks. Once you can overcome the supposed difference in men and women, there can be a camaraderie between the two sexes when out in the field. If that leads into something else that is a little bit stronger than a passing physical infatuation, then so be it. You will not suffer for it. If you take up hunting merely to find a husband or a boyfriend, eventually he will see right through you. You'll be back at the house, as a non-participant or by-stander.

There is also the scenarios where you will be thinking you've found "a live one" only to be disappointed. The person is trolling for someone they can enjoy for the moment or a fantasy.

The bigger question is overall as a group, do women want to be respected for our skill and our respectable position in society? Do we use hunting only as a platform to get a date or a husband?
No one that I know of likes to do something for the sake of nothing. At the same time, one person would be insulted that the strides they make in the global outlook on hunting is degraded by the acts of a handful of misguided souls.

There is a big difference in sharing yourself with one or two people versus sharing yourself with the world.  Even with one or two people, they only glimpse a small fragment of you and not the deeper self of who you are. Non-disclosure can work wonders for your self-esteem.

As a female who hunts, I don't think about this as I get ready to go spend my time in the woods or on stand. I just enjoy myself and let that be a controversy for late night blogging after the hunting is done.

Again do you want to be a person who posts as an activist with words of rage while squirming in your computer chair hoping to get someone to notice your tirade? Do you desire to get in an online altercation or are you just going to do what you do without all that tantrum crap?

Really it boils down to a personal choice. What do you chose to do? Sexual innuendo photo on social media or not?

Do you want to be taken seriously or not? If so, act like it.


~Courtesy of the AOFH~