.....................I am Killing a Woman.

Remember this: You are not going to read this in Field & Stream.

I went to the doctor's office for an ear infection. When I walked in there was this man I knew that I really don't care for. Like some relationships the wife got in an accident, got a pay out and divorced him. Undoubtedly there is some unresolved issues there. I was sitting in an exam room minding my own business when I hear the loud public conversation between the nurse and this man about deer hunting. In brief this was what it was about:

Man X states to the nurse he has been hunting. He brags he has been shooting anything that moves with a hit number of four. The nurse tells him just make sure it has horns. He tells her that every time he shoots a deer he imagines he is shooting and killing a woman.

With this being said, this could have been a woman. Fair is fair. It just happened to be a man on this day.  Why I am the one that hears this is beyond me? I was reading a book where the tendency to have homicidal fantasies was pretty close on female and male parts.

I sat in the exam room disturbed. I have been in the same area hunting with this man. What if he decided to cap me and call it an accident because I am of no importance?  I told my dad and I don't think he believed me, but my dad is always taking other peoples' sides. This goes to show you, when you are standing beside a stranger, you have no idea what kind of person they are, what their thoughts are,  and if they are a good enough pretender,  can try to pull the wool over your eyes if opportunity presents itself.

I assumed  this whole attitude was from a life crisis that wasn't dealt with appropriately. I wondered about the attitude of people to put a gender into a box and judge everyone accordingly, just because they have a vagina. Here this man's wife had harmed him in his mind, he didn't deal with it in a healthy way, if he dealt with it at all, and now he was punishing everything female, human and animal. Of course when you have couples issues, each individual is only dwelling on the 'me' of the situation. That is probably how they got there in the first place; lack of consideration for the other and no compromise. (I exclude people that are truly evil and torment their spouse because that is a whole separate beast.)

My reasoning behind this is how hunting can become a violent outlet for germinating psychological problems and how the hunter can cross that blurred line of right and wrong to become something much darker.   Also the blanketing of a group through a form of internal resentment without justification to the punishment that is doled out to innocent victims. The person hurts so they hurt others. This doesn't seem to make sense as it causes more suffering to a greater variety of people and things. You could consider this the bubonic plague of pain because it spread all over the Europe of our life, killing everything in its path until you find a cure. The cure is coming to terms with  yourself for your failings, vulnerabilities, and schemes you've concocted to foil other people through manipulation and lies.

People in bad relationships do not seek the help they need to overcome issues. Most people are afraid to go to a therapist because someone might call them crazy. Trust me when I say if you kill someone they are going to call you crazy anyway. You whole memory on Earth will be tarnished. Is that a way for people to exit the world? In the negative?  They would rather tell a friend or minister that is not bound by law to spread their drama. Yet the whole community finds out and each party, depending on who is in the right or wrong, loves to get the sympathy for the tragedy while the other is the villain. Once your break-up is old news, no one cares anymore and they move on. The problem is in your mind, you don't. You stay in this horrible festering place of darkness that bleeds out into everything thing around  you from your perspective.

In consideration of the man's behavior,  I wondered how it could be contrasted with another sort of situation. I then thought that this could be applied to the behavior of people who hunt on social media.  In this excerpt you have an imaginary social situation:

"we asked subjects to imagine the same scenario: that they were at a party and that a classmate they knew spilled a drink on them and failed to apologize. Their choices were to (1) hit the person (2) insult the person to his or her face (3) push the person or (4) get in person's face (all forms of direct aggression); or to (5) talk behind the person's back, (7) try to exclude the person from a social group, or (8) make up a lie about the person (all four being forms of indirect aggression)." (Kenrick 33)

Sounds vaguely familiar. In this day and age you would think people would have learned by now that violence doesn't solve all problems. It just causes more.

I would say to the hunter or huntress sitting in the stand with a gun pointing towards a target: If you are holding a gun and seeing a person that you think you hate, put it down and find some help. There are therapists available or counselors to help you work through your problem.  Don't trust anyone else to keep your secrets because the first time you piss them off they are going to tattle it all in good time. This will only make you feel more betrayed. Betrayal drives a lot of murders along with obsessive thoughts of ownership or possessions.

Here is a personal story as to the natural of potential toxic relationships.

I went on a horseback riding trip with a older man I thought was a friend. His designs weren't that way. I blamed it on the moon.  He was very possessive and like to crowd you. One day when we were riding in the moonlight he told me how he tried to load a young horse into a trailer. The horse wouldn't buge. Horses tend to be claustrophobic and depending on the color of the trailer interior or if there is a panel will not load without the smarts of the loader. Some horses will even scramble at full speed in a horse trailer. You don't want to traumatize the animal or cause it to harm itself because I have seem horses flip over in a paneled two horse trailer to land on its back upside down. Very dangerous stuff. This man told me he got a whip and beat the horse until it couldn't stand and was tied to the trailer. I was just quiet. I knew right then being a friend with him just wouldn't work because he would probably get mad one day and do the same to me. Sure enough when I tried to separate myself from him he started showing up to my job. One of the older ladies that worked with me told me to stay away from him because I didn't need someone violent or unstable that couldn't be counted on. Who wants to have to wake up every morning, wet their finger and see which way the wind is blowing?

This is an example of a calling card of a potential toxic or bad relationship. Heed it. I can imagine when the obsessive person doesn't get their way and wants the 'animal to mind' they are capable of anything. I am glad I escaped with no more than the stank eye. That is the worrisome thing. You have someone sitting in their house visualizing heinous things in their head that are accumulation of memories where these images re-enforce anger that turns into pure out murderous hate. The other person that these emotions are directed at never see it coming or know it but don't want to believe their life is in peril.

Don't get me wrong,  there are people that wave the old red flag in peoples' face causing their own demise. This kind of person is  living in Delusional City. They have no concept their lives are in danger, the things they do can cause other people to get killed, and think they know the other person so well that it can't possibly happen. These types of people go right back for more punishment. I call them Dumb As A Rock. The person thus shows up somewhere packing a murderous fury that ends in a string of connected lives being destroyed and all for naught. The man above did come to my work out the blue angry and I wasn't even in a relationship with him. I had only been on less than three outings and I am sure I couldn't make that big of an impression on him. He could have been thinking of doing me harm and I wouldn't have even known it. We are not gifted with telekinesis or Sookie Stackhouse-like powers.

Given the situation above, anything can happen. When it comes to hunting and having a weapon, once again, if you visualize killing someone that you are temporarily mad at, stop, put the gun down, and go find help. I say this because, when you start developing distorted rationale your life becomes hindered for the negative in all kinds of ways.  These feelings are temporary if you decide not to hold onto them. Most people can't let go of the past. Not that you should forget a wrong done you but don't let someone repeat it again. Shame on you the second time. You don't have to be violent or punish the next person for someone else's crimes against your heart.

Remember not to pick the same person over and over. The habit is to pick a person that is familiar but not exactly the same. You're only getting the person from your past relationship and you will try to do the same things thereby committing the same errors. Its human habit. Be still inside yourself and learn from  your mistakes. If you have to make more mistakes make sure the whole situation and person is different. Get out the relationship rut. Learn to communicate and stop being a selfish  "I am right all the time" douche. You are in control of your mind, actions and thought. Blaming someone else continuously doesn't get you off the hook. Above all else,  move on. Become the nomad of love for love's sake until you find that fruitful valley to settle down. Don't settle; you'll only become angry, cheated, and miserly.

Rethink your thought process and question what is passing through your mind. Test, challenge the thoughts to see if there is proof. If not,  think something positive to counter the bad thought. You have the power in  you to do that. The bad thought doesn't control you. You really do have a choice.

The other mindsets to counter this killing image is: you will lose your life or the freedom to live your life. People that kill others tend to kill themselves, once they realize acting on this behavior has caused their life to be ruined with jail, guilt, and public condemnation to name a few. If you kill someone and hide the body,  you'll always be looking over your shoulder.

If you go to jail, all you will see is other people that could kill you and have to think about  the freedom and life you lost. If you kill someone, you can't reanimate them to right a wrong. Dead is dead. If you believe in religion, you will be damned to infernal Hells, pits of fire, and eternal torture. How is that for scary?

Say it once more with feeling....Hell fire.

On the other hand, you can forgive yourself, forget the other person, move on and find nirvana in life.
You can hunt because you're not in jail. You can eat deer meat because you didn't commit suicide in lieu of murder. You get to drink coffee on some mountainside while glassing for mountain goats. Why ruin your life? The person is not worth a wasted life. There is a more worthy person that will love and tolerate you.  If you throw down bad relationship habits and get brave to learn from other people, a licensed therapist or God forbide you pick up a book and read it; life will change. You are not the only person in the world to ever have their heart broken. Nor are  you  the only one that could ever think about doing someone in. It's the execution of that desire that will ruin you. Don't do it. Hunt another day when your mind is right.

With that being said, it is my hope that hunters and huntresses leave the relationship problems in the therapist office where they belong, and not in the deer stand.

Otherwise, the other option is be happy with yourself. You are whole, in control, and don't have to sully your good life because of a bad person. They can buy a one way ticket to Forget You.
Don't ruin your life because of a couple of  bad apples. The worms and ground get them in the end.

~Courtesy of the AOFH~

Copyright © 2026 All Rights Reserved.


Literature Cited:

Kenrick, Douglas. T. Sex Murder and the Meaning of Life. New York, NY: Basic Books. (2011). pp. 33

The Human Sexual Response of Hunting

Model #47

Remember this: We have to take into consideration of the effect of the view; when we look out  through our eyes or back at ourselves. The view changes multiple times on any given day. Be careful of your subconscious for it is being shaped and manipulated every time you receive a transmission.What you see may not be what you are getting.

I truly wanted to show the male persuasion out there some love so what better way to support my fellow male hunter than to touch on the subject of….you got it…… sex. I thought what could I possibly be thinking to delve into the mind of men who hunt? I am sure hunters think the same thing of women who hunt. The catalyst for this little jaunt in the woodland brain of the hunter is the advertisement or transmission of erotic female images on continuous feeds. I suddenly visualized the Twilight Zone when the host tells you he controls the Vertical and the Horizontal. 

Of course, you are being conditioned but given the images I don’t see where men in general fight it, or see it as harmful or desensitizing. These advertisements are slowly worming their way into the hunter’s brain making the hunter sedated without much physical distress. Or does it?  Could this be ruining the hunter’s quality of life in large doses? Is it stealing the hunter’s potential happiness?  As a hunting humanitarian, my wish is for people to have a better quality of life through positive experiences, consciousness, and awareness.

Let us make an inspection of the male hunter by going down the wild hare rabbit hole.

William H Masters and Virginia E Johnson performed a series of studies where the four stages of physiological responses during sexual stimulation were found to be:

1.       Excitement aka arousal

2.       Plateau

3.       Orgasm

4.       Resolution

How could these four responses parallel the activities of a male hunter that goes out into the world to hunt? 

In the excitement phase you have the hunter deciding when, where, and building the anticipation of the hunting act. Most planned hunts or even weekend warriors wait several days or months with meticulous planning to go abroad to hunt wild game. There is probably more planning in this than a date or a wedding on the male hunter’s part. 

 The plateau phase overcomes the hunter when he settles into the stand or stalks over miles to find the prey where time is a waning factor. 

The next phase is the orgasmic phase. This phase is apparent when the hunter finally spots the stalked prey and lays the wild game over. 

The final episode is the resolution phase where the hunter breaks past the initial adrenaline and sets to the work of field dressing the wild game for its meat.

 The excitement phase deals with the area of the brain that causes physical and mental stimulation by viewing erotic images which ignites the male libido.  As men, hunters are riddled with different kinds of stress like fish slime but it’s the tension that is continuous when they log on to the internet. Before their eyes are people against hunting and photo-perfect pictures of eroticism. These visual erotic images cause a reaction in the body with brain chemicals to prepare a man’s body for intercourse after the initial arousal. The hunter sees with his eyes the erotically positioned woman then the image bounces off his eyeball walls and boing! He is dating himself, making a booty call, or hitting up the online chat roulette; some people love a surprise.

After looking at hours of these visual aids, the male hunter might be experiencing his own form of what people like to call self-inflicted dick tease.  This feeling is akin to shooting oneself in the foot. For most manly hunters the constant barrage of erotica is being posted by other men. In effect your libido may be controlled by another man? Somehow I feel like Carl Jung by saying, “How does that make you feel?”

Male hunters can experience a roller coaster of partial erections through the loss and gain of arousal.  This kind of sexual tension surely must be confusing to the male body and when there is no fulfillment must be a disappointment and betrayal of empty promises. Imagine if this is a man that does not have a special friend.

When you consider some lonely male hunter looking for sex, love, or just attention, erotic images could play a part in his own elation and deflation, emotionally and physically. I am not a man and just thinking about it is disheartening. It is enough to put you in a bad mood. Helen Singer Kaplan asserted that sexual responses in men were categorized as desire, excitement, and then orgasm. If the male hunter sees the pin up that breeds desire then excitement; some sort of fulfillment will ensue unless he is willing to be frustrated or place these tensions on another person. With these erotic female images there is no physical contact or interaction. It’s just a two-dimensional image that can’t love you back.

Another sexual explorer named Rosemary Basson thought closeness or even attachment to another partner increased the effectiveness of sexual stimulation. The head reel only works for so long after that the mental theater is closed for the night. Somehow the feeling male hunters are short changing themselves prevails. By depriving the male hunter of the desire for sex there is no interaction between the sensitive sexual response and environmental stimuli. The balloon goes flat and the hopes are dashed.

In moderate amounts that coincide with actual female sexual interaction, erotica can be very rewarding if not beneficial. If you consider the Ying-Yang of the person overdoing happy time this activity can knock the body out of balance with infections, low immunity, and irritability.

The potential problems to consider with flooding the male brain with female erotica is sexual dysfunction and compromising the male sexual being who should be a beast but turns into a sad, pitiful ,shadow of a man.

Over use of imagery to achieve erection and hunter happy time can lead to a negative self-image by isolating oneself from female attention or physical interaction. This is accompanied by feelings of inadequacy because of the failure to live up to the manly expectation of society. Sensationalizing female erotic images that skew reality through sex slave mentalities does not support normal relationships, especially if this is all the comparison you have for man-woman interactions. I exclude functioning relationships where sex slave activities are a natural part of the sexual relationship. This distortion of reality can lead the male hunter into treating real life women in less than noble ways. Damaging potential relationships through bad behaviors or mistreatment will limit your pool of sexual partners unless you have a day job and extra pay check to burn.  This permissive behavior can also rob the male hunter of strong fulfilling relationships that will stand the test of time. Considering this, I am sure that is not what your mommy taught you?

Enter boredom.

After a while the male hunter may not be as interested in the right woman when she comes along because he has been mentally disappointed by the fantasy girl that never existed in the first place. If he does attain the fantasy girl the relationship is somewhat empty because he didn’t see past the sexual relationship. If this sexual relationship is not diverse the question of it lasting once actual conversation and real life work begins could spell its death.

Depending on the male hunter, there could be an undermining of the respect the man has for the woman. The real woman’s personality could be cut away from her actual body and she’s nothing more than a product just like the women in the photo. The male hunter might become dissatisfied with his real life partner because consistent addiction and use of erotica in high doses can cause the male hunter to distance himself from his lover. The lover being intuitive will know something is wrong then confrontation ensues.

The growing trend on some Hunting pages is the development of sexism through high volume viewing of female erotica by male hunters. The material urges are gratified but the male hunters lack the ability to relate to a real breathing person, treats the real woman as a subordinate, or only uses her for gross entertainment before discarding.  At this point the male hunter is dehumanizing himself and the real life woman that could be his potential partner. This behavior makes him sexually undesirable to breed with or share a future.

If the male hunter is not isolated for long periods of time with a wake of bad relationships he might turn out okay. On the other hand after the male hunter has dehumanized himself he views women in terms of the disappointment by the fantasy girl once she rejects his advances. Real life women become gold diggers, mindless playmates, nymphos, humiliation addicts, and have dissatisfying bodies and low standards of physical beauty. Over a period of time the erotic energy of the male is drained, wasted, and punctures any possibly relationship with emptiness.

There is hope……I came across this passage and thought it applied.

“In the human body there are many centers, and each center changes the quality of the energy. Have you not seen every day that electricity can be changed into so many forms? Somewhere it becomes light, somewhere it runs the fan, somewhere it runs the motor. Just different mechanisms are needed for it and it can be used in millions of forms. In the human personality there exist many centers. The sex center is the lowest. When energy moves into that center, it becomes a generative force; you can give birth to a child. It is the lowest use of the sexual energy. If it starts moving a little higher, then different qualities start coming to it. When it comes to the heart center, it becomes love. And love gives you a totally different world.

A man whose energy is moving at the sex center can never know many things. If a woman passes by, he will only see the physical form. If your energy is moving at the heart center, when a woman passes by you will be able to see her subtle body-which is far superior, which is far more beautiful. If a woman passes by your side and your energy is moving at the heart center, you will be able to feel her heart, not only her body. And sometimes it happens that a beautiful heart can exist in a very homely body. And the contrary is also true; a very ugly heart can exist in a very beautiful body.

If you can only see the physical body you will be in trouble sooner or later-because a man does not live with a woman’s body; a man lives with the woman’s heart. Life is of the heart.” (Osho 254-55)

Written by W Harley Bloodworth

~Courtesy of the AOFH~

Literature Cited:

Osho. The Buddha Said....New York, NY: Sterling Publishing, 2009. Print, pg. 254-55.