Hiding in the Grass

Remember this: Count your accomplishments to know your effectiveness.

I was watching this eagle hunting on a field; decided today would be a good day to go hunting. I went down to the woods, realized the lane was slick as eel crap. A fat doe walked out in front of me like she was grocery shopping. I had Nena Two Feathers with me. We got out and walked around the grassy, wildlife lane I cut with the lawnmower. I walked up on the sandy hill and cut some witch cane, then walked over to the other stand. It was 12:30 pm. I could hear either someone sitting in the woods blowing like a buck, or a buck. I would later hear this again mixed in with the sound of a bull. These are two distinct sounds. I walked back to the truck and left.

I went back around 2:30 pm. There was no bait anywhere. I decided not to go into my dad’s man cave of a stand. Walked through the briars and mud to get to my stand I hadn’t been in for two years; sat there for a while in the calm, watching a squirrel dig nuts out of the leaves. I was reading this book called The Luminaries, when I heard a lizard scurrying under the black trash bag. I looked out the hole. At the end of the lane in the woods, two doe walked across. One stopped, and I could have tagged her out, but decided she was far away for a shot. The temperature began to drop and I was getting cold. I heard something crashing through the water in the swamp. I sat there a while. I heard this high-pitched, musical sound that was like a loon call. I relieved the trigger of my rifle, put my book in my bag, then put everything on my back and crawled out the deer stand. 

I slowly made my way through the woods and the water to the man cave. I put my rifle down with my backpack. I took my broken camera out then walked over to the side of the duck pond, which is elevated. I got down on my stomach, crawled up the side in the mud and briers then waited to see if I was discovered. 

I could hear and see the migratory birds calling and playing in the water. I started to laugh at my shenanigans of trying to take a picture of ducks with a broken camera. I watched them for a while. If I had stayed still, I could have gotten away with it for a long time. I finally stood up to take a photo; they flew off. I laughed, but was like meehhh, at the same time. I decided I was going to build a nature blind so I can take photos, undiscovered, in a couple of days.

Listening to those ducks was the most tranquil thing. I began reflecting on my successes, riddled with typos, with this particular construction into creative writing.

My greatest success here is: I wrote bulk posts and didn’t have to kill one animal to do it. This illustrates the unnecessary activity of people who chose to kill to compliment a work, instead of it just being for food. There again, if you’re hunting something for food, then happen to write something up, it is all in your intention.

My point got across in whatever form it took. I didn’t have to sacrifice my ethics or morals to appease a public audience, because doing such was quietly expected.

In order for you to prove yourself, and be accepted into the social media hunting community, it is implied to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt of your validity. I said, “Screw that.”

The bulk of the photography I used was images I took myself. My critique of issues I wrote was directly from my train of thought. Some of the posts are responses that required thought. Ideas just appeared for me to write, which I am grateful for. I didn’t have to hijack people for content, or mine for gold on other people’s pages due to the desperation to be prolific and relevant.

I offered friendship, it was denied. No big deal. I still did what I wanted. I was able to express myself in a creative way. I didn’t want the bad company, or the faux friendship people extend to those they idolize, and douchey people full of their own celebrity. After all, you are still just a regular person; nothing more.

I was reading a book about Georgia O’Keeffe. The writer asked O’Keeffe if she would agree to the writer penning a biography. O’Keeffe tells the author she can write the book only by the information she finds, not what O’Keeffe divulges. I realized even published this wasn’t the deeper version of O’Keeffe. People should have some option of privacy, even in their thoughts.

I wasn’t interested in mining other living peoples’ lives to steal a story that wasn’t mine to tell or take, even though people probably sampled from me. I do like getting my point across to people out to do harm. There are those people that watch what you are doing, get pissed, want you to shut up so they can write the same thing, kind of. Why?

I would suggest this. It is because the individual is enamored of you and can’t express this to you, or they think they are the expert and feel it is their place not yours. These people have all of the connections in the world-so they use you, then hope and pray no one realizes what they are doing. 

With that being said, there are people reading, get the message, and pass it for the truth it is. You know who you are.

The best decision I made was not be accessible by comments. I sidestepped lots of negativity. I can gladly say, I didn’t fight with anyone, other than the random comment by a fake profile, about hunting. My last count was three negative interactions over five years. As a person, I was irrelevant, but as a vat of knowledge, I was priceless.

When it came to people and situations, I deferred to my I Ching of Everything question. There is a simple formula for determining any situation or person by asking these two questions in one:

Are you an Asshole, or are you not?

Drowning down reality with a lot of word play can be relegated to a simple yes or no answer. Don’t complicate things.

What would I know? I am just the voice that speaks from the ether.

Written by: W Harley Bloodworth

Deciphering Her Koan

Remember this: Subject and object become one; whole.

There are no questions and answers. This is a predicament of the mind. Everything is, as it is. When you put known and unknown existence under the knife of human’s curiosity, we treat it as if it is a mystery that needs discovering, when it is already un-mysterious in its existence; there is no need of discovery, only awareness.

There are unanswered questions posed in the direction of the hunting act. I reached out to several people, on different occasions, and asked them to send me these unanswerable questions. I would attempt to answer them, in the face of people who would rather turn a blind eye. Everybody is scared; not me.

Silencio!

This is the port you arrive at when realization tells you, no one wants the answers. Not one person wants the distasteful resolution to conundrums. If the resolution is finite, there is no longer an argument to fight over, or win; conversation over a subject long beat to death is no longer perpetuated.

Argument loves impasse. Impasse becomes blight. Blight destroys.

I have known for quite some time, I was in the midst of attempting to solve a koan based around hunting; a koan that has no koan sentence. The koan I was seeking an answer to is relentless and as elusive as a deer. The answer to the koan was how I am one with hunting. 

Due to hunting’s simplicity and the elaborate maze of concepts, the decipherer of the koan will be led back to the same concept, over and over. I would not expect someone to understand the nature of the koan of hunting, unless you attempted the cipher yourself. It is not even a cipher or a puzzle. It is what it has always been.

The first attempt is to understand: All literal things must go.

Breaking topics down, scientifically and logically, will make sense in the literal, but overall it has nothing to do with the end realization.

The second attempt is to understand: All emotional things must go.

As you approach the koan of hunting, when topics are assessed, emotions can make the waters of understanding murky. You do not think clearly.

The third attempt is to understand: Do not think when koaning. No koan shall be unturned. 

Over-thinking will make you hit a brick wall in the mind. You will struggle like a drunken man in a bed sheet, who thinks a ghost is stealing his precious life.

To begin to decipher the koan of hunting, the one must understand the concept of hunting is the subject. The hunter is the object. Hunting and hunter are often perceived as two separate entities; subject and object. This brings up the concept of duality.

One must realize that hunters are hunting, at all times. The two are never split apart.

Here is my attempt at distinguishing recognition of a non-hunting koan.

There was a question: Why is a domestic turkey any different than a wild turkey, in treatment and consideration?

The objects are domestic and wild turkey. The subject is not hunting. The subject is either turkey, or creature treatment. This is a koan that has nothing to do with hunting.

Here is my attempt at distinguishing recognition of a hunting koan.

I pose the question: The turkey hunter went hunting. Why did the hunter shoot the tree, when aiming for the wild turkey? Should he just shoot himself?

The subject is hunting. The objects are the turkey and the hunter. The turkey and hunting is one koan. The turkey hunter and hunting is another koan. The encompassing koan is the turkey, turkey hunter, and hunting itself. The turkey and turkey hunter are imbued into hunting as one entity, instead of three different things.

One must understand in a koan, there is always non-duality and non-existent literalness. When attempting to split the parts of a koan to understand the outcome, it is futile. It is always what it will be; one meaning.

There are hunters that never think about this. Their life is in the literal sense at all time and locked into a machine mentality.

Hunting is about food to me. When searching for the ultimate meaning of a subject, the subject becomes more to the seeking individual, who is uniquely attempting to understand the simplest of concepts.

When we are thinking on concepts, think in the greater whole, and how it is affected. Everything on the planet is the planet. Why do we cause ourselves and others angst by separation? It is only killing us, slowly. Koans help the person realize the ability to walk blindly through the thick, concentrated cloud in the mind’s eye, and when the pressure is alleviated, the answer appears, as it has always been the answer.

I attempted to write a koan.

Beginning of Angelia’s Koan

A chef of fine, hunting cuisine has one empty platter. The waiter walks in and says, “She’ll have turkey”, and then promptly walks back out. In dismay, the chef looks over to see one wild turkey and one domestic turkey, cooked and ready. The chef blurts out, while waving his hands at the platter, “Which one?”

End of Angelia’s Koan

I am a whole person, not just a construct of a hand here, a foot there, or a head looking over yonder. In my hunting koan, I have become the clap of one hand, not two.

Written by: Angelia Y Larrimore

~Courtesy of the AOFH~

Copyright © 2026 All Rights Reserved.

The Doomed Buck

Remember this: No good deed goes unpunished.

This story is an example of why well-meaning people, or ego-centric people wanting to be special, should not make wild animals pets. Transport the animal to a professional wildlife rehabilitation. Do not tame it.

I wanted to cook some chili. I went to the store but forgot it was closed on Sunday. On the way home, I saw this small buck, with crooked, velvet antlers on the side of the road. It was about 36 inches tall at the head, with two 6 inch pronged horns. The weight was around 45#. We call this a 45# suki.

I was worried the little buck would run out in front of my truck, so I was creeping along. One time before, a ten-point buck charged my car and jumped into the passenger window, so I try to avoid a repeat of this misadventure. I couldn’t see the deer behind me, but saw an on-coming black SUV, then pulled off onto this dirt road to lead the buck off the highway. It was chasing the truck like a dog. This is not normal deer behavior.

Here were two situations: I could hit the deer with my truck or watch as someone else hit the deer. Either vehicle could have suffered damage, if not harm to the drivers and the deer.

The little buck followed the truck off and up the dirt road. I got out making sure it was gone, but it wasn’t. I tried to run the little buck into the woods, but it wouldn’t go. Finally, it walked up to me and started licking my hand. This is not wild deer behavior.

There were marks on the little buck’s coat that looked familiar. I would later realize someone could have shaved it and the marks were from chipper blades, probably a No. 30 or No. 40 surgical blade. The deer was just getting hair growth back. Because of this, it was a possibility the animal was shaved to be kept inside of a house because of shedding issues. I ruled out the thought it might be poor diet and hair loss. The squares of missing hair throughout the body were too surgically perfect. It is the end of August, so it should be going toward a winter coat.

There was a man that lived down the road. I returned some of his beagle dogs that ended up behind my house. The little buck followed his car home, tried to get up on his porch, and enter his house. This upset the man greatly, who was a deer hunter, but he didn’t want anything to happen to the little buck. It wasn’t his. It wasn’t mine. I asked him did he want me to call the South Carolina Department of Natural Resources. He agreed, but that was a mistake.

The field agent reported the little buck would most likely be euthanized. He was going to check with the wildlife biologist to determine the protocol for handling the situation. I wasn't surprised or maddened by this news. It was expected. Hunting season is almost upon us here in this state. I told the field agent the man felt responsible for the deer because it was in his yard. He didn’t want anyone to report him for owning a wild animal. I don’t blame him. I told the man not to feed it, maybe it would wander off in the night. I left.

To me, without proof other than the clipping of the hair and the easy approach, clinging to humans, and no outward presentation of disease, the deer was tame.

The problem with this little buck was, unless it went back into a pen, the animal was doomed. Someone had doomed this animal. It could die by bullet or arrow on a corn pile, be hit by a car, catch a disease from wild stock, pulled down by dogs, or die by misadventure due to not knowing how to be a wild deer, unless he goes into a wild group to follow by example.

The DNR officer reported there was no way to transport the animal. I told him, even if he did there was no guarantee the animal wouldn’t migrate back out to residential areas. If someone would have come, I had a way to transport it to the wildlife managed area with the officer’s presence.

The other problem the people who take wildlife and tame them cause is: introducing strangers to situations they otherwise would avoid, to be pulled into legalities, not of their making. This could be happening upon a problem but when the law comes, somehow you are considered the guilty party.

I did some investigating. I can not prove any one individual but it was not a surprise to find people doing taming practices with deer.

I found a video of a local woman feeding penned deer, with her mouth, on social media. The page was public and I was sure the Department of Natural Resources knew about these people. I assumed their papers were in order due to public content. Could the little buck have escaped or come from there? I don’t know. There is also the possibility it was someone else not found on social media. This is the boonies after all.

I wondered why the little buck tried to stick his muzzle in my face when I squatted down. This is not normal wild deer behavior. This deer had gotten use to a person doing a certain repetitive act for it to learn such a thing.

This poses another problem: A tame, penned deer being released or escaping into a wild population. What if, two weeks from the time I visualized this buck, it wandered off into a wild population and broke with a disease? It was possibly pen born or found then raised in a pen or house, with low immunity to the outside world and its germs.

This is an issue you find in farmed deer when they escape but are re-penned. The animal would have to be quarantined for a certain amount of time because of the potential of passing disease, if the animal came into contact with a carrier in wild stock.

This situation brings up the problem of the animal causing damage to a motorist because it doesn’t know not to chase cars like a dog. The person who hand-fed and raised the animal from a baby, is out-of-sight, out-of-mind and will not be held financially or morally responsible for a deer that either escape their care or they turned loose. The motorist will be eating the damage bill, which is not fair.

The homeowner and I were frustrated, not because we couldn’t hunt the animal, but because someone had taken something innate from the animal, and left it in the condition of no more than a child, not knowing any better. It was the makings of a sitting duck, bearing a gigantic target over its head, in rain cloud fashion.

I hope if it were someone taming deer like that, they stop or do not do it again. It is harmful to the animal’s well-being and existence.

Blame it on my inner Greek. I could only feel pity for its plight.

In closing, it is the ideas, strangers bear the burden of conscience to protect something that doesn’t know it is doomed, because of learned behavior from a human being, who is released of the little buck’s fate. A little buck that could have grown in the wild, given a chance to thrive, passed on his genes, and run free many years, instead of its life cut short. 

Written by: Angelia Y Larrimore

Responsibility and Evaluation: Q & A

Remember this: The glare will blind you. Know yourself.

I was looking around social media, following the tunnels of hunting participants. This is what it looked like from a couple of professional African outfitter/hunters.

A herald walks out to the castle keep tower, holds his hands up to the masses and says in a very obvious stream of words, “Listen to me peasants. This killer of lions. This poacher in the dark. We rebuke him.” Then everyone shuffles away.

When you consider the Media giants out there, this commentary becomes no more than watching grass. Somewhere in that grass is a squeak, that no one hears.

I have read everything from don't look at that lion, look at those rhinos, Africa doesn't care, no one in Zimbabwe knows the lion is dead, and Africa has bigger problems to handle.

The villagers are standing around, with there hands out declaring, “What is going on?”

I don't know what is going on in Africa. Only Africans know that. If you went by the commentaries of some professional hunters, no one cares in Africa, especially the poor.

There were some questions I had after reading some articles. This one statement kept jumping out at me. Dr. Walter Palmer stated, “I relied on the expertise of my local professional guides to ensure a legal hunt.”

My questions are these:

If you are a professional hunter/guide/outfitter, selling a service at a business you own, based around trophy hunting, are you not in control of that business and the client during a hunt?

How much of the legalities and details do you dump on the client before and after landing?

Is there no guides to monitor the actions of paying clients to keep them out of trouble and make that business look bad?

Are foreign hunters lured to Africa to hunt big game trophies, then left to their own device once there, like wayward children without adult supervision?

Are foreign hunters being put in senseless situations that could lead to the destruction of their life, at their expense, and thinning their wallet?

Is there no system in place between hunting concessions and research stations, where communication is available to determine points of potential illegal taking of wildlife and flora in that designated area?

Specifically, who is in control and who is ultimately responsible?

I could go on but no one is paying me for this. Where is my donations? I would like to finish those two classes on my biology degree but that ain't happening. I am sitting here spinning my little chair around, trying to make sense of the debacle hunting has gotten into. There is a fine line between hunting and poaching. It is like the wolf with the sheepskin hiding in the flock. You never know when one is going to run out and eat the sheep.

Baa Ram Ewe!

I recalled a conversation I had with a hunter. I am not going to divulge the name because he didn't see me coming. I approach things with a professional attitude when it counts. I decided maybe this would help some people out there. This was my evaluation of references provided and feedback for that particular business, in the hopes it would improve the services given to the consumer. For that one guy that I told this to, take it that you're helping other hunters. 

I am a boss. Enjoy.

Here is a conversation I had with a hunt broker on feedback from the people using his service. These are comments most people will not verbalize to the broker/guide/outfitter.

I did not make this up. I kid you not. I actually did this.

Subject stated: When a celebrity arrives in camp, paying customers are pushed to the background. The celebrity then distracts away from the paying clients.

Subject arrived into camp on different locations where the guide or manager of the camp did not interact with the client, seemed resentful, which caused a sense of isolation instead of camaraderie while in camp. Camp was ill run or the managing guide was not interesting in the business, which caused the subject to decide not to return to particular camp and move on to another guiding service.

More attention needs to be centered on the client. Several subjects voiced this. There might be some disconnect with the condition that the hunt broker, or a member of the brokerage firm goes on a hunt as a hunter with the client, which confuses the client. The client expects to be under the care of the brokerage firm and the guide is secondary. 

There needs to be some specifics on the triage of who is going to be responsible for what, when, where and how. The guide seems to be relieved of this issue because the client initially invests money with the brokerage. There may be some misunderstanding or misconception here as to the true role of the broker, differentiating the broker going on a hunt with a client, but not necessarily involving himself in the process and when the guide actually takes over the responsibility of the client on the hunt. If the client is there to hunt, the client doesn’t need to be confused by administration or feeling they are about to be lead into a ditch.

Subject noted a conversation between guide and broker where guide told broker, the broker needed to pay more attention to the client.  Guide may not understand his role or responsibility during the hunt as it pertains to the broker, if he is hunting, as well or present and the client. There needs to be a clear definition of roles. 

Conversations between hunt broker and guide should not be in the view of client who may not understand what he is seeing or know the content of conversation unless client is simultaneously voicing displeasure to both individuals.

Subject noted interaction by e-mail, up to the beginning of the hunt, was frequent. Later, the communication appeared sparse. When information did come, it was close to the departure date which put stress on the client. This pressure caused client to do research to deal with unforeseen details that might hinder or cause client problems pre- and post- departure from and to hunt location. 

Client felt hunt brokerage firm and guide, having performed the general paperwork and information minus the actual work of hunting should have done these requirements in route enough that the process should have moved along smoothly without the client doing much work. Process needs to be evaluated for loopholes, forms that could be utilized, etc. If the hunt broker or the guide is afield doing a service then there should be a person that is delegated the role of mediator at all times for clients to have someone available to help them through the process and gather information to and from guide service while the guide or hunt broker is involved with some other function.

Multiple subjects mentioned they were put in uncomfortable situations where they questions the actions going on in camp and during the hunt that caused them to reserve their complaint or observation to avoid insulting the hunting guide or broker. The client didn’t want to get blacklisted for being a trouble source but instead endured the scenario. This reservation or lack of a communication outlet with broker or guide potentially caused client to not return again for service at particular sites or using in the future.

Subject stated there did not exist a plan of action during hunts when client could be put in potential danger. Client would also assume all responsibility of harm or death to self; even if guide or broker made suggestions or direction that lead to eventual harm or death.

Subject divulged there was distress at the lack of information that could cause a hindrance of client returning to place of origin.

Subject felt after returning from hunt that they were forgotten or excluded from future hunts; they may have unintentionally insulted or annoyed hunting guide or broker that caused a blacklisting or they were just forgot. There was also the comment about not being appreciated as a client for using the service even if enduring a less than pleasurable experience.

When questioned about costs for shipping body parts of animals for taxidermy into the US or having taxidermy done in Africa then shipped to US---hunt guide and broker couldn’t provide information that should have been referenced from past client hunts and interactions.

Subject voiced the laid back style of the hunting broker clashing with the different personal style of the client but client was made to fit into laid back style. Here this became evident by the lack of addressing issues that arose as problems that needed to be solved or lack of dealing with pertinent details.

Suggestions:

Hunting broker and guide need to have a pau wau on definition of roles when interacting with client. Who is ultimately responsible for the client experience? There would seem to be some issue that exists between the three entities that causes a problem with flow and easy of service. This could be from the moment you meet the client to the final goodbyes or return service. 

There needs to be a delegation of duties. Breakdown exists in communication. If you don’t know what the issues are, write the problems you have had in the past then find a solution. Most requirements are repetition. These requirements should be outlined and set in Moses tablets so when unforeseen issues arise it will cause less stress, less time, and the client should never have to know there is a problem because the problem was dealt with before it occurred. Unless it can’t be avoided. Prior planning prevents piss poor performance. 

One of the main points that stuck out to me was the confidence in the hunt broker and guide. I have thus far received more information about the process from clients not the staff. In most of the businesses that I ever worked in, I was responsible for communicating the products and services to the client in a timely manner. 

This incurred confidence in the client that I was knowledgeable about the process, the service, the product and how they fit into this picture. People do not want to feel like they are not looked after. Confidence in the person providing the service is key. If it is not there, the client will question everything you do, even your validity, as a provider and will doubt your expertise. This is not what you want because once it takes hold it can cause you long term problems with return clients or future clients.

Subject directly said this would probably not be for me. If women didn’t have money do not waste person's time.

Subject didn’t seem to have recollection of hunting; only the mark but did enjoy himself.

I hope this has helped you some and I have a lot to think about here. There was a lot of positive information but this was based around conversation about personal hunting philosophy, hunting goals, and experiences when not addressing a reference.

I will suggest, with all the administration, dealing with clients and paperwork details is not your thing then find a savvy person that can set clients at ease, answer their questions, and a pro-active person that covers all the details so you don’t have to spend time on this. You could spend more time on the client or hunting. You need a constant initial contact person.

As hunters, people rely heavily on outfitters/brokers/guides as authorities of hunting, then hand over their sense of reason, to make decisions for themselves when guided by others.

Outfitters/brokers/and their guides are not always trusted authorities on hunting. They are more experienced but you should know yourself. If not, you might want to get more acquainted with the way you want to hunt verses the way you are lead to hunt, local or foreign.

My moto has always been: Do not try to lead me in a ditch. I will not follow you.

I invite anyone to write about this because this is a crucial trouble source for foreign hunters on African soil. This doesn't need to be bandaged. It needs to be treated like a cancer; cut it out.

You can go donate a dollar to my blog.

After this, I was told to find someone else.

Written by: W Harley Bloodworth

The Arcane Creatura

Remember this: Progeny is the hopeful path to a better world when taught right. Choose or offer the path wisely.

Have you ever asked yourself, Where did my childhood go? How many positive memories do you have of life before taxes? Do you see a difference in the lives of children now and before you realized it is time to sign up for AARP?

Do you look at your child and wonder if the little person will grow up to be a functioning adult? Did the little human being learn at record pace to keep up with the growing trend of survival and accomplishments? Do you guide your child along, teaching the child about the natural world? As a parent, do you teach your progeny how to co-exist in the world with other things, while being a steward of nature?

To the best of your knowledge, have you taught your progeny to be a human being first?

Good Questions.

Life seems to be one big pressure exerted on you, in succession, once you enter pre-school. Next is the ever growing shadow called adolescence. While the student is in school close to eight hours of the day, as a student, their life is dictated by school government. Some children leave at the ring of the bell to fall into a strange pit of depression, isolation, and resentment.

I read an article entitled, "How To Raise A Wild Child", by T. Edward Nickens, With Phil Bourjaily, Kirk Deeter, Dave Hurteau, and Keith McCafferty in the June 2015 edition of Field & Stream. Throws shade...

Yes, I drive thirty miles, out of my way, to read copies at a local library. I am sitting with 13 issues as I write, on this desk. 

I am not bashing the authors choice of tact in writing such an article. I enjoy most of what Field & Stream writes. I thought it was a good article in terms of learning technical skill of each class of job, as it functions in the outdoor world. 

I felt the article lacked propagating the outdoor person’s mentality on the individual level when it was applied to experiences.

What goes on inside a person when they are learning the outdoors? There are lots of articles by adults. We should have some by children or some videos. That would be nice.I would do it but no one likes me for the things I say. Ole well.....can't make everyone happy. 

You can explain to a person how they should be. This never works because of free-will in the mind and the kind of person they are deep down inside. Some people are golden eggs and some people are rotten, if not given the chance to redeem themselves.

There should always be hope. One must realize this written passage can go for anyone, not just a person centered in or around the outdoors. It is for all.

This fundamental make-up is self-generated through experiences and consequences, internally in the self or externally in others. It is important to how a human proceeds in life. The importance of how the human will treat the self and others in regards to stewardship to the Earth and its inhabitants. It is the spark that shapes your world-view on a philosophy one builds over a life-time.

The well-groomed photographed images appeared to suggest a stereotype the parents could choose from to use as a template to morph their child into some ideal. These children wore brand new designer type clothes with efficient technology in hand to do the job. There are probably parents out there that gauge their children and slowly push them into the slot they think best fits them. You will also find this in schools where students are given aptitude tests to determine if that student needs to become a mechanic, secretary, scientist, or doctor. You cannot be everything. You can try. You have to decide on one something at a time.

Field & Stream writers cover the basic personalities: Hunter, Angler, Woodsman, and Naturalist. Deep in the writing, it is suggested to buy, buy, and buy. You have got to love sublime marketing.

The children on pages 58 and 59 are better representations of what children look like when hunting and fishing. It still sniffs of adulthood. Of course, children are now placed on the fast tract of adulthood to compete. Gone are the lazy days of play from the 70s and 80s. 

Children have to learn to code, work complicated technology, and categorize other people. All the while categorized on a personal level themselves.  Children learn to be divided in subsequent groups as hunters, anti-hunters, liberals, conservative, whites, blacks, indigenous, felons, beauty queens, and so on. After this division plagues them, there are the fights over whom they should hate and distrust. On and on it goes. 

That is one of our shames, if you want to do some shaming; what we do to each other and innocent kids. Social media at its worst is the epitome of adults being poor role models for the little eyes that watch them.

People guide their children into the negative snarls of what it is to be human. For what purpose? To protect them? It really is harming children and the greater good of the Earth.

Going back to the photo of children in the article by Field & Stream. Where are those dirty faces with smiles? 

I remember the only photo my parents ever took of me. I went fishing with my family in this trio of ponds stocked by the neighbor. I was playing in the water with my pole bored, zipping it back and forth. A trout hit my line. It pulled me head first into the pond. My father caught me just as I was about to hit the water’s edge. It was hilarious. My mother caught a bass. I found that picture and laughed. I can still remember the moment.

Why am I so amiss about this article?
  

There is another child Field & Stream neglected to write about or suggest. This is because the trend in some hunting magazines is to promote family and family values as whole units with parents and children with somewhat functional lives.

I struggled with a word to call this child. Why should I try to label such a thing? The Latin phrase Arcane Creatura appeared.

I can only describe the Arcane Creatura. This can be a lonely child, feral yet socialized but isolated from the interactions of human life, with a limited ability to form bonds with others. The Creatura looks and acts normal to some degree. When cast to its own designs will move back into the wild places where it finds comfort. It will have a strong Animus. There will probably be a limited bond with the biological parents. The Arcane Creatura will be left alone to learn about the Natural World, with little supervision. The inner child will be fragile, strong, willful, destructive, and nurturing through each event the Arcane Creatura experiences. The Arcane Creatura will grow into a functioning adult. The mind will stray to the wilderness and the things in it.

Few people ever get close enough to the Arcane Creatura, and know it well.

You will see children such as this. They will be labeled as troubled, with no known psychological problem when tested. You’ll know by the way people say, “That one is off a little bit.” They will learn from every animal in the woods, the trees will whisper their medicines, water will sing its charms, and the Arcane Creatura will listen. It will roll in dirt, climb trees, and roast crayfish over a fire. Mischief will grow ripe within the Arcane Creatura's heart for that is where it finds mirth.

The Arcane Creatura lacks understanding from those quick to categorize. These same people will try to slot the Animus, of such a being, in a way to explain it away for the sake of their comfort. 

There will be a limited need of new technology, clean clothes, or glaring eyes when the Arcane Creatura does not conform. Socially upright people might consider the Arcane Creatura slightly mad.

The Arcane Creatura has a certain element of mystery, even when in the presence of another person. It will play, laugh, run away, come back, and observe you as exotic. You are considered the different one; the one like all the rest. It will laugh at and with you in good humor. It will have hidden depths most will never know. 

The first place you will see the truth of what it is lays in the eyes. 

If you ever meet the Arcane Creatura it will ask, “Did you forget who you are?”

~Courtesy of the AOFH~

Copyright © 2012 All Rights Reserved

Identity

Remember this: Your identity is who you innately are. An activity is something you perform, or take part in.

As of today, I have not purchased my hunting license. The weather has been wet with a barrage of red bugs and mosquitoes. I have not seen deer or heard gunshots. There is just this uneasy feeling within me akin to something missing. My way of dealing with these emotions are to revert to nonchalance and caring less. I was in a pickle.

Is it my aversion to not wanting another bad experience? Who doesn't?

I wished I could purge what truly plagues me right now, but this wouldn't be a prudent thing. It is just the offending thorn in my paw and a problem I wish would finally resolve itself.

Lately, I have seen posts where several people reported their hunting was hindered for various reasons. When I examined people who were not experiencing this issue, there was an undertone concept underlining the attitude. I reflected on myself and other hunters.

What people identify with in terms of the self was a mystery I was toying with when it comes to hunters. Identity seems to be a mysterious woman that comes and goes with no clues left behind. Only a glass with lipstick or a photo of a woman with shades. Who or what is it? Why can it seemingly disappear, then when the truth illuminates it, a clearer image emerges with even more complicated or simplistic definitions. Mirrors are not even able to distinguish between the truth and the image. The truth lurks down in the recesses of the mind. A card catalog of life events, with meanings, distortions, revelations, and lies. Illusions dress it up and enshroud it in half-truths until the glass breaks and then an ooze drips from the fractures to reveal a hostage of expectation.

Whether it is a truth of yours or not, you will see proclamations from other hunters that hunting is their life's blood. For some, it is their secondary religion. I believe in good gourmet chocolate, heathen that I am. Others prostrate to their followers it is their passion or soul's glue; without it they are nothing. This is done to the disregard of other people whom are just as passionate, if not more so. Followers flock to these types, I would think, because of the shared ideal of complete submersion in an activity's elevation to something more than it is. These followers mimic the patterns of the person they are enamored with and will protect and fight for the stranger with a shared ideal of hunting.

The practice of emulating other hunters that are elevated by social media, endeavors, television, and writings is not a bad thing, as long as it doesn't harm the person's psyche. Hunters of the world can vary in their personal identities. Followers can mimic the object of their affection or idolatry. When you begin to take on another person's identity as your own, when it is not you, should be given great reflection, experimentation in your personal likes and dislikes, and branching out on your own without the influence of a stranger you do not know. Illusions are conjured all the time by less than experienced magicians.

I started examining one of my truths of identity. A truth is something that is a fact and part of your reality even if other people do not like it. It is not for others to like it but to acknowledge your truth.

In 2007, I lost everything maintained by the material world. Like a slow growing moss, I didn't realize how these problems bled into my non-material realm. A series of events after one prayer, ended in more disaster than one could ask for. I was a job title without a name, working for a greatly flawed pillar of the community. I was killing myself at a hard labor job to support my child with no public assistance, child support, or significant other. This didn't make me better or worse than anyone else because all people have their sufferings. It just is what it is. You have to cope because functioning is not an outlet. I do the work and reflect more on my inner self. I forgot myself instead of lost myself. Being so busy ,you pass yourself. Passing yourself is not a good thing.

There are also people that will attempt to turn you into a good little soldier for their benefit. You come out looking like a pod person from the planet Mars that repeats the same thing ad nauseum. Take me to your leader; take me to your leader.

Long periods of extreme, even pressure will do odd things to a human mind. Consider Elk. Creatures do strange and almost epic things under pressure thereby astonishing people when their truth is discovered or spoken.

Here I will interject, it is not the fact that you can't be a single parent with a child and not support yourself. It is the grueling, non-supported wear it takes on your energy and psyche when you realize that there is nothing and no one to help you. If you can't stay afloat, there are some that will lend you a hand and some willing to step on your fingers to watch you drown while they laugh. Others believe it is a warranted punishment for some sin you must or have commited, when in fact it is the residue of cause and effect.

Everyone needs support, even people you dislike and dislike you. Being spiteful is counterproductive and a waste of effort. My support came in the form of a suggestion by my therapist at the time. She tasked me with trying different things regardless of whether they failed or not. I was to build or construct something representative of an aspect of myself or something I was doing. If I were to hold up a picture of something for the world to see, what would it be? Would they understand it? It didn't matter if the world cared, as long as I did.

Of course, there were people that had no clue to this. They only look at the superficial, while having no intentions of forming any kind of short or long term bond with you. There were times other peoples' behavior almost made me reel against my creation. I would destroy it and start over while  never getting anywhere.  I finally decided to pull the bandage off while ripping away the scab of things. New scabs form. Life is a progression like that.

People displace off onto the nearest or what they consider the strongest person. You've proven yourself able to take it; whatever it is. We look at others as indestructible when they are borderline disasters waiting to happen. What if you have reached your threshold for worldly poisons? A human body and soul does have it's limits. That limit, when reached, has to dissipate of it's own accord. We place things on ourselves and other people that shouldn't be there, especially long term.

Due to this life event, I spent several months in therapy suffering from other long standing problems and identity loss. I loved my work in veterinary medicine so much that I took a hit when I was no longer in that field of employ. I suffered some trauma as well due to an accident not of my making. I look back now and realized I missed the diagnostics, the procedures, the patients, clients, and the distraction most of all. Work saw me through any hurtful problem by distracting me from things I could not control. The quality and quantity of my capabilities were centered around medicine of some sort. I took great pride in my work, how people appreciated that I cared, and my ability to move forward even in an emergency situation. I learned how to cut through the crap and find the real problem. Ergo, the solution at hand.

When my son graduated, I wanted to do something for myself. I wanted to do one hunt and then call it quits because I was limited, which is okay. I was talking to this nice hunt broker and mentioned it to him. He asked me did I have amnesia, which will tell you how under the radar this problem is. Identity loss doesn't indicate you are crazy, you just identified with an inappropriate activity. Veterinary medicine was an activity I took part in. It wasn't who I was. After veterinary medicine left, I was still present. I didn't go away, the work did.

It is the same with hunting. You are no more or less a person when you are not participating directly in the sport. Again, there are hunting participants that yodel how they want to be inclusive, then when pressed you learn they aren't really going to do that.  They can't be caught looking bad either; reputation and all. You find other things to do that will bring you just as much joy. This predicament could also put you on the path of something you can love just as much. Enrichment can come from many different sources. As humans, we need to be viable and active.

It could or could not be hard, when we see other people endeavoring in a sport that we no longer can participate in. A truth here is: if you are lucky then things do not stay the same forever. At some point, the tide will turn for your benefit or against it. Either way, in the long run you will see the wisdom of the thing that blocks you, if you give it a chance.

I then reflected on my non-participation. I could wait it out until it gets cooler to avoid the bugs then see what happens. I could also let other people have their turn at a deer. I could spend sometime not staying in the woods isolating myself and actually speak to other human beings. I could do a lot of things. Once you realize your time is now open to doing something else, you could accomplish all kinds of things. Not hunting, is not the end of the world. It is just a temporary chapter in your life or an avenue to do something just as important.

If you have ever felt you have lost something intangible that you considered a part of yourself, think again. If you see someone that might be having difficulty, in a nice respectful way, offer some help with no pressure. Sometimes they just want to know you actually acknowledge their existence.

Building a new identity should be given great care. Completely stealing another person's will not last because it is not you. It is theirs. Selecting the parts of your identity should be given as much scrutiny as you would if you were buying expensive haute couture.  Resurrecting or building a new identity takes a lot of patience and asking  yourself the questions that hurt you the most then finding answers. Other peoples' suggestions on what they think you are should be taken into consideration, but ultimately you are the decision-maker on your innards and outtards. Be brave but be truthful with yourself.

Do not be discouraged because you are not like everyone else. That is the beauty of it. You are not. Go forth and be different if you want.

As for me, hunting is an activity I take part in. It is not who I am, it is something I do. I can't expect others to agree with this. That is their path. My truth is much deeper than hunting yet hunting helps me to visit that place where it exists. I am quite happy with that.

Explore who you are, could be, and will be. Your life is short but there are many hours in it. Those hours could be spent creating, constructing, and implementing a grand design for yourself that speaks of you to others. Why would you wear the outer shell of someone else?

~Courtesy of the AOFH~

Work With Me

Interested in working with me? First, you should know I am from South Carolina.  It is obvious what kinds of activities I get invovled with. With that being said, I expect your best manners, good taste, and if nothing less than excellence. I don't believe in perfection because that is up to God or the Universe. I hope we can work together in many ways. I believe in honest critiques, which will improve your services and products. You don't have to be a high-profile entity either and if it's made in America; bring it on.  If there is something you would like to suggest that is not on the list please feel free to email me and we’ll discuss options. Just keep in mind it needs to be relevant to my blog. It has to be a good fit for myself, and my readers. I would also be interested in working with non-hunting entities if the products and services were a good fit. Life is faceted.

Advertise: There is a wide variety of ad options. Please contact me for rates at: aestheticfemalehunter@hotmail.com.

Service Evaluation: If you are a hunting broker, hunting guide or other outdoor sports entity and would like a critique of the current state of affairs on your public perception, feel free to contact me for evalution of what is going on during hunts, telephone service, bad reputations, counterproductive marketing, and reference calls for true opinions on your services.  It's not what people say, but what they don't say; because they won't say it to you but to other people.

Writings: If you are an author that values your work and does not want it stolen, we would be happy to do a reading and give suggestions if you are having a momentary lapse of writer's block.

Specialized Critiques: If your work involves public messages and need an honest opinion on what is before you from a second or third party then look no further. We would be happy to tell you our opinion or give you direction on what might be better options.

Reviews: It would be my pleasure to offer you product reviews. If you have a product  that is a good fit for the blog please contact me. Bear in mind all reviews will be 100% honest and forthcoming. I value my readers above all else.

Giveaways: If you have a product you think would benefit my readers please contact me. If it’s a good fit for AOFH readers I will host a giveaway.

Recipe Development: This is the part of the blog I enjoy most. My passion is outdoor sports, conservation, wildlife and writing.  If you have something you would like me to work on please contact me.

Freelance writing: If you are interested in having me write an article for your website or magazine please contact me.

Company or Brand Events: If you are hosting a retreat, conference or event that is outdoor sports  related I would love to attend, share, or advertise the experience with my readers. Please contact me to discuss options.

Brand/Product Ambassador: I would love to work with you if it’s relevant to the Outdoor Sports industry. Please contact me and we can discuss a variety of options.

Sponsored Posts: Content must be relevant to be considered. If it’s a good fit I would love to work with you. Please contact me to discuss in detail.


Please contact me at  aestheticfemalehunter@hotmail.com  to discuss the variety of opportunities available. I look forward to hearing from you. Please contact me at : aestheticfemalehunter@hotmail.com.


Written by: W Harley Bloodworth

~Courtesy of the AOFH~