Remember
this: Life is a tricky business of tactics and counter-tactics.
Disclaimer:
What you are about to read is probably loads of bad advice but no one
ever out ran a bullet by going in a straight line.
I
was avoiding writing or interacting with people online. I wanted
peace, quiet, and some overdue rest. Yet something was not quite
right. My mind kept wandering back to domestic violence or abuse.
People can learn to deal with many problems, using different
platforms, but when it comes to predator-prey behavior, as it is
applied through hunting, you soon realize how hunting could save your
life, prolong your life, or help catch the person who plans to do you
harm. This being said, depends on the reality of being listened to or
not, or even helped. You will read a lot about hunting and how it is
based in conservation of wildlife, landscapes, community, and family.
Let
us pick the ideal of family and community, then put a laser point on
the actual interaction of these two variables, when hunting is used
to evaluate the social problem of domestic violence or abuse within a
family unit. This can spread out into the community. People have
found out, community lets you down. It takes one person to beat the
crap out of you and a village to ignore it; even take part in your
subjugation, persecution, group shunning and eventual demise.
I
scrolled down the monitor to see an explosion of anti-hunter versus
hunter posts. I rolled my eyes. Not wanting to go down that path,
thoughts of topics swirled around my brain pan.
Everything
you learn about terrorism and counter-terrorism you will first learn
in the home, then preschool, kindergarten, elementary, and high
school. You could be the victim, victimizer, or the neutral person
that doesn't want to bother, or be bothered with throughout life.
There
are a menagerie of scenarios on the ways human domestic or animal
violence occurs. Let us look first at human on human violence as it
pertains to domestic violence in relationships or two ships passing
in the night or broad daylight.
What
is it like for families of domestic abuse? How does each person react
to their role in the melodrama? What about the true victims of
domestic violence or abuse, who become no more than collateral
damage? How does this inter-family strife spill over into the animal
world? How do the abused deal with relationships or even themselves?
How do you get past the imagery and story in your mind that holds you
like a personalized victim of the self; or maybe a revolving victim
of past events for fear of repetitive future events that could
possibly happen. How do you break the pattern of becoming a
continuous victim swaddled in your own painful emotional cloth? What
rational does a victim follow when accepting forms of abuse? There
were so many questions.
My
most profound questions were: how can what you learned in your hunting
education and experience, transcend a mundane act of stalking,
execution, and killing a sentient being as a hunter, be applied to a
domestic abuse event? If applied to this event, can it shed light on the
abuser's tactics or help the victim avoid harm or counter the threats
being made to one's person? When a person who hunts considers the
prey aspect of newborn behavior of avoidance, blending in, survival
or death, how can this help a victim understand him/herself? How
could I use hunting as a positive platform for shedding light, in a
lighted place, to demonstrate why hunting is not all bad? One only
need know how to wield it.
This
topic was a tricky subject to approach. I wanted my idea to be
simple, with easily recognized parts. I must say, in any given
situation, a pattern emerges unless you are dealing with a real
master of mayhem.
Each
individual is different in the way people internalize conflict from
external sources. Families of domestic abuse go through cycles of
periodic, intermediate, or constant events of abuse. The main abuser
is the most dominate, exerting control on victims through
deprivation, with-holding emotional, financial or happy moments,
threatening behavior, alienation, and control. The adult victim
either lives in fear for the self or the children, but can also
become assimilated to the behavior of the abuser. This assimilation
exacerbates the abuse to the children and animals.
The
children either become fearful, aggressive, combative, or emotionally
detached about daily life and either thrive in spite of the
situation, or slowly have a marked deterioration of self and
behavior.
Animals
and children, in these domestic squabbles, become hostages to be
tortured, given away, mistreated to spite the victim or abuser, or
ignored.
When
dealing with outside relationships, the abused may avoid forming any
potential connections due to lack of trust or fear. The abused may
form relationships in spite of present abusive situations. The
rationale of accepting ongoing abuse could stem from financial
security, fear the abuser will never go away and follow them, low
self-esteem, lack of support from outside sources, fear of the
unknown, and hopelessness.
Abuse
usually starts in the family by the main relationship of married
spouses or people who are dating that live together or apart. Each
group may or may not have children or animals. Life is good until
things fall apart. Falling apart could be obvious. A facade is put
into place by the abuser and victim to hide the shame of their
inability to make it succeed. A final confrontation; assault and
separation is established. The family is splintered and madness
ensues. Here I am pointing out one of the worse scenarios. There are
break-ups that go into that good night quietly. Others go out in a
body bag or a police car.
After
this, you may have the abuser antagonize the victim or vice-versa.
There are people in this world that will stick their head back into
the metaphorical lion's mouth and expect it not to be bitten off.
Spite, revenge, and a need for retribution will take hold like a
cancer, and eat away at both parties while infecting the less seen
individuals: friends, children, relatives, and animals. There are
victims that grip the truth they should fear for their lives and
their children's lives.
It
is not unheard of to read news that a spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend
killed a child, animal, relative, or friend to spite the other side
of the argument. A good example of this would be the Washington
Sniper. He killed people to fulfill his plan of murdering his
estranged wife under the guise of a phantom killer. He wanted to
distract everyone from the true goal of murdering his wife. Here he
was the indirect hunter stalking other prey while practicing on them,
then eventually hoping to collect on the one he considered the trophy
of the hunt. In truth, he wasn't hunting her because he knew where
she was the whole time. He was setting up the storyline to exclude
himself as a suspect.
Here
I would say before going any further:
Come
to terms with your own mortality. You may not make it out alive but
do everything you can to survive it. You have a fifty-fifty chance.
If the abuser has someone helping them, your chances go down. Get a
therapist. You are going to need someone to help you see right when
Terra is burning down around you. It will burn.
Learn
the difference between a truth and a manipulation. Abuser, and victims-turned-abusers, will manipulate their story lines at times. This
could drag innocent people into the fray or the victim is manipulated
back into the abuser-victim cycle. Manipulation can bleed out into
the community to block any type of help you might get because
isolation of the victim and community allying on the part of the
abuser brings people to be against the victim and not the abuser.
Most people never question a thing to be false especially if it is
the parent telling the tale because what does a child know. Adults
think children lie anyway. Why should they be believed and thought
less of for telling a truth?
I
have observed a situation, without going into detail, of a married
couple in a toxic relationship for years, during and since their
divorce. Both parties manufacture situations counterproductive to
happiness on all parts. Both sides of this equation used alienation
and fear to their advantage. They also used their community image as
a bouncing board for counteracting a truth being discovered by people
at what they had been up to. Secrets and lies will be uncovered or
disclosed out of fear of blackmail, shame, or usurping both parties
dirty side-deeds.
First
things first, find a safe place for your kids if the abuser is that
dangerous. If you have pets, cry then find them a new home because
the abuser while hold them hostage, starve them, or kill them. You
might get your pets back but you'll be raked over the emotional coals
before you do. Children and animals are always used as leverage in
these horrible little wars to exert control. They are the collateral
damage between two adult people that have lost their self-respect and
minds. The children will most likely be yelled at, blamed, punished
on the part of the adult, or used for some other purpose. I had a man
tell me one time as he pointed to a seven pound dog. “If I kick
that dog, you will fell pain until I get tired of kicking it. I never
have to touch you to hurt you.”
This
is how some abusers never lay a hand on you or bruise you because the
children or the animals are being abused right before you eyes. Then
again, it's always the intent of the threat that keeps you in line
until you decide it is better to die fighting instead of live that
way.
Know
your adversary and make a clean break. Become financially free or
hide amongst the homeless for a while (if you are single) and lose
the address. Most abusers go straight to the halfway houses or
domestic abuse shelters. Treat yourself like a new member of the
witness protection program.
Get
a weapon or weapons then put them in places contrary to where the
abuser would think you would hide them. This can be non-invasive
things like pepper spray, electric cattle box, cattle prod, taser,
etc. It might be a good idea to discuss options with an electrician.
You'd be surprised what he could come up with in the manner of home
safety. Get creative.
Get
a library card. Per-use the how-to sections. (Figure it out).
Know
your local and state laws on intruders, home invasion, personal
safety with handguns and weapons and what constitutes self-defense.
(If someone tries to kill you, what is your mode of retaliation or
self-defense against such an act?)
Let
us talk about family when your primary family has gone to hell in a
hand basket.
You
can't always depend on your extended family, unless you know they
love and care for you. Otherwise, don't be surprised when they tell
you not to bring your family's problems to their door and upset their
house. This is one of the times you will be considered a stranger to
them. If it doesn't hurt, you are not human. Once shunned the
community will follow suit because they don't want to be endangered
or get mixed up in something they feel is not their business.
Unsuspecting
strangers, who are not from your community, will help you.
Avoid
using new people, such as a boyfriend or girlfriend of two months, in
your life as barriers to the abuser. It's not right to drag them into
a domestic dispute. These temporary significant others are the first
to be accused of things they didn't do an end up dying to protect
you.
Don't
be alarmed if angry glares are pointed your way and you are accused
of being the cause of things that you can't control. The idea, it has
to be someone's fault, will be right in your face.
You
could be stalked and safety will not be found anywhere; not even with
the police.
The
knowledge of predator-prey could indicate the particular mode of
choice on the kind of counteractive victim you may be at a given
time. Some people have the habit of returning to a given mode of
choice. You will either freeze, fight, or flee.
Here
you have learned from hunting, when an animal is cornered, it could
freeze in its tracks, fight to the death or run to concealment.
When
you consider the freezing technique, a baby animal will stay in one
position, even if it out in the open, to avoid detection. You could
also see this behavior in children that are threatened by
authoritative adults then ball up to be quiet in a chair or under a
desk/bed. Some children even hide under the house or in the woods.
This is also a form of sniper tactic, minus the emotional fear of
detection and attack, when directly underfoot to blend in and be
still until you can move on without detection.
Flight
might get you away, if you have the upper hand, but you can't see
what is coming up behind you. Deer are notorious for bounding away
into the bush. The bad thing about this tactic is, if the abuser
knows you are going to run, he can drive you right where he hopes you
will go. Ergo making it easier to catch you. Never be fear driven.
Once you realize it is fear then you can turn and run right at them
because they will not be suspecting that.
You
might fight and win; you might not. This depends on whether you set
the situations up for your favor. (Figure it out). Abusers bank on
the victim not fighting them. This is how their reign of terror
perpetuates itself; through fear and forced submissiveness.
With
these three given responses you could live or die, given the
confrontation. What you want to do is avoid the confrontation. Learn
when to pick your battles, because as children you may have more than
one relative or stranger gang up on you to beat you.
As
soon as you can assimilate the fact that you are not required by
sacred law to continue a relationship with any person, stranger or
relative, when your happiness or life is threatened, the better off
you will be. You see this in animal babies when they are on their own
after some point or right after birth to fend for themselves. Parent
animals and babies terminate their relationship in given species.
Terminate your toxic familial connection. Nothing is worth that
poisonous sentiment because family has a more corrosive connection
when members are motivated by evil purposes.
Do
not drink the poison. One way an abuser gets a foot-hold in your life
is to whisper subtle nuances and brainwash you until you smarten up
and catch them in their web of deceit and betrayals. They want you to
trust them and no one else. Simultaneously they are driving off
trustworthy people by bad mouthing you, without your knowledge.
If
you have been with a person long enough you have some idea of their
habits and mentality; as do they to you. Anyone that has tracked an
animal, knows the animal. Its that simple. Be the animal and outsmart
the hunter. Go as far to contrary as you possibly can. If the abuser
thinks you'll go to a certain watering hole, don't go. If the abuser
thinks you'll be at a certain place at a certain time, plan another
one. Confuse the piss out of him.
A
good tactic to learn can be drawn from shooting where you learn to
find the space between heart beats, when your focus is pin point and
nothing the abuser does will rattle you. Here you can pluck from The
Matrix Reloaded when Neo is being tested by Seraph. Seraph says, “You
must control your emotions if you are to over come your
opponent.” Still your mind, quiet your emotion.
Another
example is Seraph tells Neo, “You do not truly know someone until
you fight them.” Here you can get over the shock and awe of being
betrayed by family, community, the abuser or even yourself. People
that are in abused situations will be harmed by loss of security, the
fact someone loves money and land more than you, you are nothing to
them but a by-product of sex, and something to crush underfoot while
they keep their reputation in the community in tact, and you get the
blame for everything because they refuse to take responsibility for
their actions.
The
abuser(s) will portray him/herself as the victim, with willing
listeners that are being taken advantage of for their gullibility and
do-gooder mentality. Unfortunately this lot only goes with the one
they think has the money, best story, or fear the most. You see it a
lot in christian churches where they support the abuser while the
real victim is pushed aside for not being a member of the
congregation then the abuser ends up having a authoritative position
in church. Motto: Drink on Friday, beat the wife on Saturday and go
to church on Sunday to ask forgiveness.
If
you have ever seen pressured animal herds or single individuals, you
might observe hypervigilance reeking from their behavior. This
animal may be more prone to attacking or strange behavior because it
has been driven to a crazed or exhaustive state. As an example, you
could be living in your new home after a break with the abuser.
Something is telling you intuitively that something is amiss. The
person might just show up at your door unannounced, knowing they have
a restraining order on them. After this episode, you might suspect
someone is laying-in-wait outside your house, has illegally entered
your home, or doing surveillance on you to get your habits and time
table down for a strike. Do unto others as they do unto you. Get a
system in place of people willing to rat this person out on his/her
time table. They have enemies somewhere. Most abusers are bold
because they think they can get away with murder on the capital steps
while sharing a donut with a cop.
Fragrances
can be a wonderful thing. If you could get your hands on some foul
smelling animal fragrance to put in a water gun or set it up on a
manual sprinkler system, then if you see Ole Bob- a-lurking then turn
it on and watch him run. You could make a “rotten bag” on a trip
wire to explode on their head when they walk through it.
On
cameras and Go-Pro gadgetry: make technology work for you. If its an animal camera, make sure its has night detail with no flash but has
brilliant, clear pictures. I will say: I knew of a lady that had
cameras recording outside her house. The person knocked on the door.
She opened it. He killed her. The camera recorded the murder but he then
killed himself. I would say here. Don't open the door for someone who
has consistently put you into confrontation. Paranoia can be your
friend and your enemy.
Hunting
can teach you something about isolation when the abuser uses this as
a tactic. The abuser seems to come out of nowhere because you didn't
believe they would appear or you let your guard slip. Don't ever
believe they can not get close enough to you. Join a club like
martial arts, boxing, self defense, hunting club, shooting club,
domestic violence support group. Don't be alienated from people. You
can hide in a crowd just like a turkey can hide in straw grass. Don't
be surprised if the abuser tries to slip around, defaming your
character because its in their best interest to terrorize you into
submission or going back to them. Just be honest with people.
Detect
the out-of-place anomaly. Here hunting's knowledge of tracking
technology could come in handy. Ask neighbors if they have seen
strange people or cars lurking in your neighborhood. Check your
vehicle or phone for a GPS tracking device, dog tracking collar, or
anything else suspicious. If you have key-less entry, have them
change it, even the trunk. If you think you are being followed, go
to the police station and sit outside. Then take a photo of the car
or plate as they go by; see if it shows up again. By this time, they
will probably trade out a friend's car to subvert your discovery of
them. Ask a neighbor if you can watch from their property with night
vision scopes to see if the abused gets frantic at broadsiding you to
watch for trespassing.
If
you believe said individual is going to trespass then find some green
or brown powdered chalk or gray lime powder to put out around the
house in places you think they might lurk. They see you liming your
yard when you are setting them up to get a shoe print. Don't make it
obvious.
Build
yourself a panic room and treat it like your deer stand. Concealment
is your friend. The abuser will definitely be using this tactic. Hide
in plain sight while watching the perpetrator pick at your door lock
with a credit card or bust out your windows. Record the abuser while
you are eating mac and cheese and calling 911.
Sometimes
these abusers pay private detectives to do their reconnaissance
because it seems legitimate. The private investigator thinks he is
doing just another job, when he is being used for nefarious purposes
to help the abused get one more step closer to you. If you are a private investigator and something seems shady about the person asking for the service, you might want to look into that. If you don't have
money for a private investigator of your own, then find a bum, and
pay him a six pack for his information. You'd be surprised what
people will do for food and drink. Get to them first or get your own
spies to watch the person with constant Intel. You will find there
are people that have been through the same ordeal that will gladly
help.
You
can also utilize your knowledge of the ghillie suit. The last place
the abuser will look for you is his backyard because the abuser will
be in your back yard. If you consider hypervigilance, you might be
needing some sleep, so take a hammock with a mosquito net, pay your
dues at the local campsite, dress in your suit and sleep in the
bushes or a tree. They won't know where you are at. Have a beer while
you are at it. Read some Keats. You can bet the abuser will be
watching your house, your job, the daycare, or your parents house. In
order for you to stay on your game you have to push zzzzz's or your
lack of focus could knock you off the defense/offense.
With
all things such as this, the abused may experience a form of
post-traumatic stress disorder.
Accept
the fact the abuser is capable of anything and a ticking time bomb.
The victim turned abuser will tote tales, true and false, to win the
approval and favor of the abuser. This causes more trauma for the
children especially if they are into their adult lives. There is no opportunity that divorced parents will not put their children in the middle,
use them like a weapon, or continuously make them feel unloved and a
mere tool.
Here
you could think of bear hunting. Bears out in the bush will not
bother with you, if you stay away from them. Hunters go with the
intended purpose of hunting a bear. We know how this will end, one
way or the other. Otherwise when messed with, it is big, aggressive
and will sneak up on you if you piss with it much. You are going to
die or get badly hurt. If you fool around to much with it, anyone
within striking distance will get the same fate. You could be taken
by surprise at any moment or get charged. If you know something like
that is out there, you need to be pro-active to save your life or
take it down. Some people have the idea they can handle such a
situation or person. This is fool's paradise. The reason this is
fool's paradise is because you can not control the actions or mind of
a person if you do not know what is going on in their head.
The
problem of the abused mind is this. It's the unknown and the fact you
know eventually something bad is going to happen while telling people
who do not believe or listen to you. For it all to come true is even
worse. Then again.....be the bear.
The
worst side of this coin, to brace yourself, is a victim that
returns to an abuser to become the abuser themselves. Whatever
prompts them, more than likely finances, security or wanting to
inherit property, or just plain bat-shit-craziness, you may never
know. This is what makes it so scary; realizing someone was capable
of the cruelties they claimed were visit on them. To see the victim
turned abuser enjoy the torturing of another person (the children or
animals) is dumbfounding. Then you have to watch the abuser,
victim-abuser, exert jealousy, isolation, controlling behavior,
blame, cruelty, verbal abuse, threats, deprivation, and hopelessness
onto an innocent person who is trapped in an awful situation, because
there is no money to get out, no one to help them, and constant
surveillance by the dual abusers.
Here
you can see with abuser-victims there is roles and roles reversing.
Children and animals are the collateral damage and the relationship
of the abuser-victim is the present that keeps on giving. After
domestic violence trauma, your life is not the same. You end up
having to right the scars inside of you that no one can actually see.
The outside observer just believes you are quirky, a loner, strange,
mental, or some other judgmental label. You are really a lonely
person that survived a bad experience. A bad experience you learned
to rate and grade every other experience by. Some people will call
you broke. You are not broken. You just learned the wrong thing, saw
the wrong thing, and made the best decision you could at that time to
survive. There is no shame in that. You performed within your
capacity, at that moment, to do what you had to live. No one should
judge you for that, because in its darkest hour that was your highest
achievement. Some people hang dead heads on their walls, walk around
judging other peoples' value on materialistic and shallow
achievements. A victim's ability to survive and live past abuse is an
achievement. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong in the way
that can't be fathomed. Once you make it through you can live with
nothing, for nothing, in spite of every cruelty and for everything
that means nothing to other people.
Hunting
knowledge can help you, if you are willing to apply it in creative
ways, to problem solve issues that can become dangerous to your
personal health. Hopefully, if you turn to people, the police, or a
domestic violence support group or shelter, they will help you but
you always have to go with the understanding that there maybe no
help. It is just you.
This
may also be the thinking behind people who only care what happens to
animals because they gave up on humanity early in their life.
To
get past the imagery and story that pollutes your mind:
Make
a decision, act and move.
Love
and forgive yourself, even if you feel no one else does.
Get
professional help.
Seek
other survivors that can relate to your past history of abuse.
Learn
to move on from the trauma and not wallow in it.
Define
a point of departure of the manifestation of hurt and pain.
Accept
and embrace you are no longer a victim.
Believe
in finite endings and new beginnings.
Find
something beautiful, inside and out.
Thrive
Live,
just live with all you've got.
Help
someone.
Apply
the concepts in hunting.
To
alleviate animal abuse and suffering, we must look to the
relationship and condition of human-on- human violence and abuse.
Everything trickles down from this relationship. If we do not know
how to treat our fellow man or family members then how do we expect
to make the world a better place long term, rather than periodic
moments of unrest and dissension. The key is dealing with mental
issues, teaching people a better way to deal with problems, learning how to be better parents, and looking at Earth to improve life in general. As individuals, we must make the personal decision to be a better human being and not a shadow or copy of what people want us to be or what we are pressured into by dictums.
Someone recently said to me, "Why do people always try to devalue a person's suffering to irrelavance and then convince the abused their suffering should be compartmentalized to the point of non-existance. After this is whittled to nothing, the victim is made to feel guilty for having any feelings at all, voicing them to purge the wounds for healing, and avoided to suffer alone in silent reflection. Yet there it stays because the suffering and grief was not experienced but repressed, avoided or ignored.
Hunting can teach you a lot as long as you are willing to stand outside other people's boxes and apply what you have learned for your own sake and the sake of others. Enjoy.
Written
by: W Harley Bloodworth
~Courtesy
of the AOFH~