Neptune's Favorite Fish



Remember this: Under the wave and in the current is a school men try to learn from but seldom do.

I hadn't the opportunity to go to the beach much this summer but I wanted to go to the beach for my birthday present. It seemed everything plotted against me but finally I made it there. I just felt like I should be at the beach. Maybe I didn't get there on the day I was supposed to but ole well. I finally got there.

I got my hunting and fishing license but the douche bag selling it to me gave me the combo when I just wanted the salt water fishing which is $10.00. I have to read up on using nets because there's something about using a hoop net; just what I need, to be fined by the game warden for doing something illegal. That salesman really had a sucky attitude then lied to the man about me telling him I wanted a combo. I just told them it was more trouble to fix the problem. I was limited on time for having to waste more of my time on an error someone else made which would impeded my fishing. I don't like my fishing being impeded.
I also got another tent because my six person tent somehow lost its aluminum pole set up and looks much like a deflated balloon. I am hoping to do a lot of camping over Fall when the weather is nice and the mosquitos go to Mexico to drink Tequila and Jalapeno-ladened blood.
On the way there I was trying to divert traffic and pulled into a small mall that was hidden. Found the Lowes Whole Food Grocery store and fell in love. I bought some deli sandwiches, green grapes, apples, and drinks for the beach.
I don't like to carry a lot of stuff to the beach because you're tired when you come out. I am no pack mule.
There is a lot of people at the beach too or maybe it was gophers because they left a lot of holes that weren't filled in.
While me and my son were eating in the picnic area I spied an older woman and a young kid talking about family problems when I thought to myself: that kid doesn't want to deal with that crap; he's at the beach.
After eating we headed out to the sands, which is a clean beach aside from the human gopher holes and the area to the right which is for dog poop and sun bathers. Go figure?
My son wanted to get a tan but he doesn't have the patience to lie on a yoga mat for the time it takes. Besides I gave him a bath in sun block because I didn't want to deal with the lobster tan if he got burnt. He finally hit the water because once he is in you can't get him out?
The ocean water was very warm.
I sat down and fixed my rod which reminds me of a bee because it is yellow and black. I believe I put enough shrimp on the hooks to provide the fish o' the sea with a modest Red Lobster buffet.  I headed out while the tide was at the low end. As the tide began to come in I started picking with myself saying:
"Oh Great Neptune, I pray you send me the great Mahi Mahi or a Flounder. I will feed the masses with just one fish."
I was thinking of Jesus feeding a lot of people with bread and fish but I ain't Jesus.
I know. I am so full of bullshit but fisherwomen need their ju-ju. I had no sooner got it out of my mouth when I got two bites then the line went flat. I thought maybe it was a gnarly crab playing with me. So I reeled her in. My son was standing over the line waiting to see what I had. He better be glad I didn't catch a shark. Then the fish popped up. It was about 6-8 inches. The body was silver white with canary yellow fins. It was soft like baby's skin and warm. I laughed and told my son we should eat him in jest. My son looked mortified.
”Can we let it go? Its only one fish?”
I walk out of the surf waving my hand like a wind sock running to the hunting bag to get something to unhook the fish with while yelling "Catch and Release. Catch and Release."
I got a good chuckle off of that one let me tell you. I gave my son a zip lock bag to get some water so I could put the fish in before it died. I got the hook out and dropped it down in the bag of water to see if it was breathing. I told my son I prayed to Neptune to give me a fish and I got a fish.
My son said, "That was Neptune's favorite fish!” He seemed kind of fearful.
I said, "I guess I have to give it back? It’s only one fish. I doubt I will catch another one. Go turn it loose."
My son runs back to the shore and dumps the oceanic hostage.
He came back and told me, "Mom, I let that fish go and he sat there and stared at me then swam off."
I laughed at the fish creeping him out.
"That's Neptune's favorite fish. I have probably saved us all from great disaster. You never know what the weather will do besides what if he comes to collect that fish. What am I supposed to do? Go buy him one at Wal-Mart and tell him the other unfortunately died? We gave it a proper burial and flushed it down the toilet. "
It looked like a small version of a Pompano. It was a beautiful fish.
I guess the one thing that stood out was when I touched it I thought how sympathetic I was for it. Its flesh felt just like a human persons, not like a slimy scaly cold fish. Sometimes they are pretty covered with their slime juices and they smell; which this one didn't. It was the strangest fish I had ever held.
There was one moment when my son went to shore and ate an apple. I guess while he was up there he was fuming thing over. He comes back to where I am fishing and says to me, "You need to go to a bar and hit on every man you see until you get satisfaction." I was horrified at this prospect. Made me think of Eat, Love, Pray when Julia's Roberts Boyfriend's son tells the father it’s time to have sex with her.
By 7:30 pm the sun was almost gone but the ocean water turned into this silvery blue water that looked like Mercury.
We decided to leave and go eat at California Pizza, browse Barnes and Nobles until they closed. While at California Pizza it sounded like bombs were going off outside and the waitress was ducking while looking out the window. I didn't know they were having fireworks and a band out there. Happy Accident! We finally made it home about 12: 00 am. I was beat. So was my son.
 
Written by: W Harley Bloodworth
 
~Courtesy of the AOFH~